Can your allowance ever be increased after you’ve already started seeing someone?

I’d rather end things than lower the allowance, so I don’t bring up lowering it. I don’t think continuing to see each other would be enjoyable if it damaged our relationship. Basically, I don’t change the allowance, but depending on the circumstances, I may occasionally buy something or give a little extra. Hopefully, you can build a good relationship naturally and bring out an increase in the allowance.

I only very occasionally hear about allowances being increased, so I think it’s best to assume that it almost never happens. Of course, when a man really likes a woman, he may start feeling like he wants to do more for her, and that could sometimes mean increasing her allowance. More often, though, even if he likes her, he’ll keep the allowance the same and instead buy her something extra if there’s something she wants. That said, I also rarely hear about allowances being reduced. So if yours has been lowered, I think it’s worth considering what might have caused it. When a man brings up lowering the allowance, he’s probably thinking that if she doesn’t agree, he’d be fine with ending things. So there may have been something that made him feel that way. However, it’s also possible that he had been continuing the arrangement while putting up with an allowance that was higher than he had originally expected, and it gradually became too difficult for him.

Start with a pay-per-meeting allowance of 50,000 yen. For example, if she’s a student and really struggling with tuition, I might cover everything or give her 600,000 yen. In my case, they aren’t my girlfriends. They’re strictly my first- or second-priority sugar partners—women I’ve decided I want to support and watch over for life after things have continued for years. Naturally, it develops into a monthly arrangement. If one of them moves closer to my home, I might cover her security deposit or increase her monthly allowance to make up for a rent increase. I decide based on what she needs for her life. If it’s lasted more than three years, I’m probably her number-one papa, and I can see signs of genuine affection and trust from her, the amount I give starts becoming virtually unlimited. A former chubby, unattractive papa like me, with no experience of being popular, can easily be fooled if you just pretend to like him. That said, I’m not as wealthy as Aya’s papa, so even her birthday present is only cash in the five-figure range. I’ve never given her anything worth six figures.

Once we get to know each other better, we sometimes take trips together. Since longer outings mean more of my time is tied up, I add extra allowance for them. I also tend to bring back more souvenirs.

There are allowance increases. When the allowance is set high from the start of an arrangement, girls often come to expect it as the norm—like pay-per-meeting amounts of 120,000 or 150,000 yen. So lately, I’ve changed my approach and stopped offering a high allowance at the first meeting. I start the arrangement by offering a lower amount, see how things go, and then increase the allowance based on how much effort she puts in—as the person asking the question described. There are two girls who make me want to give them more and more whenever I have the money. They’re in a league of their own. Both of them call me their boyfriend. That said, I don’t consider either of them my girlfriend. They’re undeniably very important women in my life, but I still maintain a boundary. They get anxious, though, so when I’m with them, I do say things like, “You’re my girlfriend, ○○♡”

Papas generally fall into two patterns: (1) Things continue more or less indefinitely on a set pay-per-meeting amount. It’s stable in a sense, but the relationship is easy to end. (2) Even if it starts as pay-per-meeting, you gradually start seeing each other more often, until he says, “Since it’s a hassle to hand you money every time, why don’t we switch to a monthly arrangement?” or “Since staying at hotels every time is inconvenient, I’ll rent you a place.” From there, the gifts and allowance become unlimited. It’s stable, but breaking up can turn into a complete disaster. I’ve experienced both, but (1) is by far the more common. I’ve experienced (2) twice, and in both cases, they considered me their “girlfriend.” Technically I was a mistress, so I’ll put “girlfriend” in quotation marks—but realistically, it was a one-on-one relationship that neither of us could describe any other way. People may have mixed feelings about this, but for certain men, the desire to “take care of their girlfriend” and “protect someone vulnerable” can be a powerful motivation. Having a “girlfriend” gives them energy in their daily lives and lets them feel their own influence. So if she’s troubled, they want to help and support her. That’s why, even if it starts out as a purely physical relationship, the spending can become unlimited. I’m currently in Hawaii with a papa like that, and I’m honestly surprised at myself for letting him buy me a 1.6-million-yen CHANEL bag. He was furious, saying, “This isn’t Pretty Woman… I’ve never had anyone make me buy such an expensive bag before.” But he also said, “There’s no other man who would do this much for you. You’ll remember this for the rest of your life, right?” That said, most women would absolutely hate the idea of becoming an older man’s “girlfriend,” even if it were just an act, so it’s difficult in reality. If your performance is half-hearted, someone experienced with women will see right through it. Also, if he’s a salaried papa with limited income and assets, he simply can’t give what he doesn’t have, so the relationship won’t develop into (2). Self-employed people and business owners are more likely to fit the bill, so I think it’s best to guide that kind of papa toward becoming a (2).

There probably are. I seem to remember Seattle and some others saying they’ve increased it. Personally, I’ve never lowered an allowance, and I have increased it when switching to a monthly arrangement if the per-meeting amount worked out higher. I’ve also given bonuses many more times. That said, I feel a little uncomfortable with the phrase “if she works hard.” Working hard is subjective from the woman’s perspective, while the man is the one doing the evaluating. If her efforts don’t translate into something he values, they probably won’t be recognized, and her allowance won’t increase either. In the real world, I think people are usually evaluated not for how hard they try, but for the results they achieve.

This person also has no history of asking questions under this ID. Nice to meet you, lol. “Your allowance will go up if you work hard”—is that some kind of urban legend? Well, assuming it does exist, it depends on what you’re working hard at. Like a game, it’s all about figuring out how to攻略 it. Reassess where the papa (a male supporter)’s weak points are and what weapons you have at your disposal, then defeat—or rather, cultivate—the papa. People describe it in various ways, like getting him hooked or playing him. It’s more fun if you approach it like an adventurer trying to攻略 the papa-katsu dungeon. Good luck. That said, when someone has no history of previous questions under their ID, but their question somehow feels familiar and overly polished, it does make me suspicious. If it’s really their first time, I’d like them to have that fresh, inexperienced quality about them. On the other hand, if they have two or three previous questions, I find myself thinking, “Ah, this person is genuine,” and it makes me happy.