How should I approach a reserved papa?

She’s a woman I’m still seeing regularly, and when we made plans for our third meeting, she casually replied, “I’d like to talk about an adult relationship when we meet next.” If you feel a good connection and are ready as well, why not casually reply along the same lines: “Let’s talk about it when we meet next”?

I’m not entirely sure how the questioner feels about that papa. But allow me to share my modest experience. Manami isn’t a woman I met through Universe; she’s more of a tea companion. She’s a lively, energetic university student in Kyoto—basically the human equivalent of Oronamin C. But with such a huge age gap between us, there was no way things could turn intimate. And yet, as the departure chime rang out on the Shinkansen platform at Kyoto Station, we ended up kissing. Everything came crashing down with a sound. So, apparently, kissing at a station is incredibly effective on an older man. Incidentally, I ended up promising to give her a bowl made by a Living National Treasure.

> Lately, I’ve been hesitating to invite my papa out so often, since I’m worried it might become a burden for him... If it were becoming a burden, I think he would take some kind of action, so I think it’s fine to keep inviting him as often as you have been. He knows that money is part of the reason you’re seeing him, but I think it’s important to soften that a little—say things like, “I’d love to see you more often” or “You’re so kind”—so that he also feels glad he went on the date with you. If he enjoyed the date, he shouldn’t feel uncomfortable no matter how many times you invite him. The next step may be difficult to bring up, but if the man isn’t used to this kind of thing, he may simply not know how to ask—or he may be worried about being turned down if he does. Why not tell him what you’re hoping for by framing it as an example involving a friend? Of course, he may also be thinking that dinner only is a good arrangement because he can meet you several times without having to spend as much on allowance.

When you say “the next step,” you mean you want to get more money out of him, not have sex, right? Just checking. The questioner seems like a nice person, so perhaps the two of you have unconsciously equated things like, “I can’t ask for a lot without having an adult relationship, so I have to take things in that direction!” But that’s not necessarily how things work in this world. There are basically two approaches: ① Ask him to buy you things ② Tell him about how hard you’re working because you need money I have a feeling that ① would suit you better. I heard about someone recently: there was apparently a papa in his 60s who was dinner-only, and when the papa-katsu girl happened to move, he bought her all the furniture and everything she needed. As a sort of thank-you—or maybe things just naturally progressed that way—they ended up having an adult relationship. So why not have him buy you something expensive, then act grateful and be extra affectionate, saying, “Thank you,” and maybe even try kissing him yourself? With ②, you just keep repeating things like, “I’m paying my tuition myself,” and “But I’ll keep doing my best!” The key is not to say, “Would you be willing to support me?” yourself. Just wait patiently for the papa to bring it up on his own. It’s kind of like a yakuza threat, lol.

If you really want to go that far, then go ahead! I’m surprised by how many girls say, “Maybe I should make the first move.” What exactly is the point of that? I wasn’t doing dinner-only arrangements either, so I don’t want to be misunderstood, but I don’t see why the girl needs to initiate. Is it because she thinks she’ll get a lot more money if she goes that far? Depending on his age, I think it’s better to find out what your papa (a male supporter) wants before making a move. He might be perfectly satisfied with just going on dates and occasionally holding hands.