If you genuinely tell him how you feel, he might understand.
Even if he doesn’t, becomes suspicious, or pulls away, I think it’s still worth doing your best to express yourself in your own way.
If you say you like him and then ask for a higher allowance, or suddenly ask for money by saying something like, “My mother is actually ill and needs money for treatment,” he’ll probably become suspicious. When a woman says she likes a man, she’s revealing her own vulnerability, so rather than suspecting her, many men may feel pressured to respond because they don’t want to be put in that position.
That said, a married man would probably be troubled if she suddenly told him to get divorced. Even if a man says he and his wife don’t get along, they’re often actually on fairly good terms. In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), a man who makes a woman fall for him usually has some kind of charm, and his wife probably finds him attractive too.
Personally, I’d be honestly happy to hear that she liked me. But if she then asked me for money, marriage, or said, “Then do something for me in return,” I’d probably become suspicious and feel troubled.
This may not apply to the person asking, but if you’re trying to get money from him, why not honestly tell him that you’re struggling financially instead of lying and saying you like him? Lying itself is bad for your mental health. If you explain the situation honestly and receive assistance, there’s nothing fraudulent about it.
I’d be happy, but my first instinct would be to be suspicious.
I’m not naive enough to believe a woman more than 20 years younger than me—one I’m giving an allowance to—when she confesses her feelings.
I’d just think:
“She probably wants money.”
That said, there are about three long-term PJ partners whose feelings I believe are genuine.
I’ve supported them for a long time, while still maintaining some distance.
She’s in her teens, right? I find it heartwarming and think, “She’s so young.”
If I seriously considered my feelings, I might break up with her. Or I might decide to stay by her side as long as her feelings lasted. Either way, it’s probably a different kind of feeling from the questioner’s “love.”
I’m meeting a girl for lunch today, but we won’t be intimate. A former papa-katsu girl is coming to visit and bringing me a souvenir.
We ended our relationship about four years ago. The reason was that she tearfully told me, “I actually hate sex.”
When I said we should stop seeing each other, she said she still wanted to meet. I wondered if it was about the money, so I tested her by saying, “I won’t give you any money, and we’ll still have sex.” She said she still wanted to see me anyway.
She said, “You were the only person who treated me like a human being. Everyone else, including my family, treated me like a slave.”
She had been abused by her biological father since she was in fourth grade. Apparently, her mother looked at her as though she were some kind of homewrecker.
To test her, I met her about three times afterward without giving her any allowance, and we had sex. She never complained once. She simply did whatever I told her and let me do whatever I wanted.
That’s why I won’t be intimate with her anymore. I told her she could come see me anytime, and I’d just hug her. We’d walk through the park holding hands, and I’d give her the kind of affection her father and mother never gave her.
That was our promise four years ago. This time, it’s been about three months since we last met.
She’s moved out of her parents’ home and lives alone now. Her parents have separated, and the family has apparently fallen apart. She’s somehow managing with a regular day job, but she isn’t the type everyone calls cute, so I imagine something happened that broke her spirit.
I think she’s cute, though. So I’m going to see her and tell her over and over how cute she is.
She was still in her teens when she was having sex with me for money. She’s probably the only papa-katsu girl I’ve ever been certain actually liked me. With everyone else, it’s hard to tell because money was involved.
If the questioner really wants to convey their feelings, the best thing is not to accept any money. Not words—actions.
The outcome could be that they run away because it feels too serious, treat you as a friend-with-benefits, or you might even end up in an unusual situation like mine.
Personally, I’ll never again try to find out someone’s feelings by having sex without money. If you can’t return their feelings, you shouldn’t test them out of curiosity.
There are many things in life that are better left ambiguous. You may not understand that while you’re young.
I’m currently living with an 18-year-old girl. This morning, I cooked her a fried egg, woke her up, hugged her at the door, told her to have a good day, and sent her off to school.
But I will absolutely never create a relationship with her that doesn’t involve money. No matter how attached she becomes to me.
I may tell her that I like her, but I will never accept her saying that she likes me. If I accepted her feelings, I’d be forced to realize just how shallow and counterfeit all the “I like you”s I’ve said really were.
