One of them has a birthday coming up, and I can really feel that she wants me to celebrate it. It feels like a lot of work and honestly, it’s a hassle. I’d rather get away with doing nothing at all.
I’ve started to develop a bit of an attachment to her, and she’s beautiful, kind, and has a great figure, so I can’t bring myself to cut her off completely.
How have you all successfully dodged this “please celebrate my birthday” vibe in the past?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂Not stated👑Universe male member
I’ve hardly ever met a woman who gave off the vibe that she wanted to be celebrated, so I’m sorry if I’m off base, but I agree that simply doubling the allowance when you meet around her birthday should be enough.
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If it’s an ideal relationship, I’d want to celebrate it.
And if I saw her as more than a girlfriend or wife, I’d probably do even more for her.
In that kind of relationship, I don’t think the other person would give off that sort of aura.
If there are six people involved, though, that’s not really dating—it’s just a relationship where you meet up, so gifts may not be necessary.
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There are definitely some monthly arrangements you want to celebrate and others you’d rather let pass, right?
None of my monthly partners ever hint that they want to be celebrated, but for the ones I do want to celebrate, I’ll take the initiative and do it without being asked.
I can’t be bothered to think of gifts, so I always give cash.
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If you don’t do anything, won’t it leave you feeling unsettled?
If agonizing over it all feels like too much, why not simply double the allowance as a birthday gift?
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If it feels like too much trouble, why not just ignore them completely?
It’s hard to say without knowing more about your relationship with them, what they’re usually like, or your respective circumstances. If you could explain a little more about what exactly feels overwhelming, I think I could give you more specific advice.
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I’m honestly shocked that you’d call it “too much” when she’s only giving off a “I’d like you to celebrate with me” vibe. That’s incredibly petty.
And instead of saying, “I’m seeing six women,” you could simply cut it down to five if you don’t like it—or even just one.
> I’ve started to develop feelings for her, and she’s beautiful, kind, and has a great figure, so I can’t just cut her off.
Then I think you should celebrate her. Saying you don’t want to break things off but also don’t want to celebrate her is just incredibly selfish.
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Personally, I’ve never felt like I needed to make a run for it. The people I’ve dated have only made realistic requests, like, “I’d like you to celebrate by doing this.”
For example, they might ask me to take them to a somewhat upscale ○○ restaurant they’ve been wanting to try, or stay at a hotel they’ve always wanted to experience.
I’m often asked on my birthday if there’s anything I want, but I buy what I need myself. So I usually dodge the question with a joke and settle for having them treat me to dinner for the two of us—up to around 10,000 yen.
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I don’t know if it was just a coincidence, but the person I was seeing the longest had a monthly arrangement and wouldn’t meet me around my birthday (lol). Since I’d already received the monthly allowance in full, maybe he didn’t want to celebrate because he thought the gift would end up costing more than the monthly amount (lol).
That aside, I think he should at least do something quick and simple to celebrate. Unless he had always gone all out before, I don’t think it has to be anything elaborate.
On the other hand, if he had been giving lavish celebrations before, she might notice that something feels different this year—or realize that his feelings have faded.
If he doesn’t even want to do a quick, simple celebration, wouldn’t it be easier to just end things cleanly?
Personally, I think it’s pretty pathetic papa-katsu to not want to celebrate her, but still want to keep a beautiful woman with a great personality and figure around as a convenient option.
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