I put up with his questionable behavior for a while—touching me constantly with overly familiar, suggestive hands at tourist spots until other people complained, acting from morning till night as if sex was all he could think about, taking my soft-serve ice cream when he saw it melting, licking every bit of it, and using my personal belongings without permission.
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But when I noticed that the surface of a box I was going to give someone as a gift was dirty, he wiped it with a finger covered in his own saliva. When I saw him licking the box all over afterward, I was completely turned off and ended the relationship.
I’m torn between feeling like I can’t believe what I saw and experienced, and wondering whether my patience and tolerance were simply too low.
From a man’s perspective, are these things really just something to laugh off?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂40s👑Universe female member
Thinking about nothing but sex from morning till night
Fuu here to answer, lol.
Not just your papa, but healthy males in general—including Fuu—who are driven to preserve the species and pass on their genes apparently think about “something erotic once every 52 seconds” on average. Source ↓
*Women and Men: Why Can’t We Understand Each Other?*
by Akira Tachibana (Bungeishunju)
Anyway, putting that aside, lol—
To answer seriously, everyone has a different level of what they can tolerate or put up with.
The biggest appeal of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is that women get to choose the men too, so if you don’t like it, I think it’s perfectly fine to end things.
Just because I’m like that doesn’t mean everyone else is, so it’s worth keeping in mind that there are all kinds of people. Some women may be willing to put up with it if the allowance is good, though…
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Use this experience to make better choices next time. The first meeting aside, after seeing someone a few times, you can usually get a sense of whether they’re not a good fit.
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As someone reading the question, I find it laughable—but if I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t want anything to do with someone like that, even as a fellow woman.
I think one of the benefits of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for women is that they don’t have to force themselves to date men they don’t like.
It’s a tough world where you can’t afford to be selective unless you first receive an offer. But after that, women have the right to choose too. So wouldn’t the first step toward avoiding unhappiness through papa-katsu be refusing to get involved with someone you know you can’t handle?
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Unless you’re still in the process of breaking up, it’s better to remember only the good things about them after the relationship ends.
I’m sure you want to get it off your chest and feel better, but putting it into words can cement those memories as bad ones. In the long run, that’s not good for your mental health.
Ultimately, choosing that man and dating him were your own decisions. It’s like spitting into the sky.
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You put up with that for a long time.
If it were several hundred thousand yen per pay-per-meeting arrangement, maybe it would be worth putting up with—but if it’s only tens of thousands, I’d end things immediately.
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