The longer you’re active in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), the more I feel that women who make me think, “She’s not for me,” or “She’s not suited to this kind of arrangement,” tend to share certain traits.
This content is machine-translated.
For me, they include:
・Never asking the man anything
・Never calling him by name
・Taking more than 24 hours to reply
Do you have any patterns that make you think, “Definitely not”?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
My monthly arrangements are so great that I don’t really think “no way” about anyone. These days, I make new offers to see if there might be potential.
Everyone is attractive, so I rarely find myself thinking, “Definitely not.”
One of this month’s new offers started out as a “maybe,” and two years after my last one, I’m now very happy to have a new monthly arrangement. She has a boyfriend.
I actually prefer women who have boyfriends. I tend to shy away from women who are single, and I’m continuing my membership with Universe Club as well.
Writing this made me realize that “she doesn’t have a boyfriend” may actually be something I fairly often classify as a “no.”
By the way, isn’t the person asking this question being a little too emotionally demanding by insisting on replies within 24 hours?
Most of my monthly partners take more than three days to reply, but they’re wonderful women, and we’ve continued seeing each other for years.
My new monthly partner and I only exchange messages about once a week, but whenever we meet, we have an amazing time.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I saw a YouTube thumbnail saying that broad generalizations are more likely to cause backlash.
Maybe the subject of this question is too broad as well.
Perhaps what she’s really thinking is:
“There’s no future for me and this woman.”
“She isn’t suited to this kind of arrangement with me.”
If so, then these might be the signs that things won’t last:
- She doesn’t ask me any questions at all
- She never calls me by my name
- It takes her more than 24 hours to reply to my messages
I can see how having all three would make it difficult to build any momentum.
Unless he’s especially into her, I feel it would be hard to make things work.
I’d like the woman to show at least some initiative too.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I don’t think there are any traits they all have in common.
Everyone has different things they like, and different things they dislike.
Even just looking at the three points you listed, I find myself thinking, “You’re bothered by something this minor?”
So I think what matters varies from person to person.
That said, I also get the impression that someone who thinks women aren’t suitable based on things this minor may not be suited to dating clubs either.
Then again, if you’re giving them an allowance of around ¥200,000 or ¥300,000 per meeting, I can see why you might feel that this level of selfishness is acceptable.
If the allowance is generous, women may be willing to put up with a man’s demands. That may be why nobody points it out—or why the women even say they don’t want to break things off with you.
Of course, money isn’t everything, and there are men women won’t want to be involved with no matter how generous the allowance is.
But if you’re paying ¥200,000 or ¥300,000 per meeting, I think things like replying within 24 hours, calling the man by his name, and asking various questions are reasonable expectations.
If you’re paying about the same allowance as everyone else, though, they may be thinking:
“Huh? Who do you think you are?”
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I go by feel, so I don’t really have any clear-cut criteria like the examples you gave.
Maybe they’re trying to sound knowledgeable by having something to say, but I wouldn’t consider anyone who judges people based on simplistic indicators like the ones in your question to be worth pursuing.
If I had to name the type of woman who seems unsuited to this activity, it would probably be those who treat it like an hourly job or sex work—though I’ve only come across that attitude online.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Everyone has different preferences, so I’ve never really thought, “This woman isn’t suited to this kind of activity.”
Personally, I feel a woman isn’t for me when:
- She’s enthusiastic about dates but puts little effort into the adult relationship → Please choose Dating Type A.
- She’s enthusiastic about the adult relationship but not about dates and is focused on time efficiency → This isn’t a brothel.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I haven’t thought about it in great detail, but if the conversation doesn’t naturally get lively over the first meal, I tend to feel like it’s probably not going to work. Once I have to start coming up with topics in my head, it gets mentally exhausting. They might simply be shy, so I’ll meet them a second time just to see, but if they still don’t seem to be opening up much, I generally don’t feel like meeting again after that.
By the way, regardless of the person asking this question, I imagine there are quite a few men who dislike it when replies take more than 24 hours. Personally, though, I feel that’s asking for too much. I appreciate quick replies when we’re arranging a date, but for other messages, I’d like to be relaxed enough not to mind even if the reply is slow.
I think that may also be part of what women at dating clubs mean when they say they want “a man who has room to spare” or is emotionally easygoing. There are probably other aspects to it as well.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
