I find the amount of time I spend on dates with a man in his 70s really difficult.
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He’s a former executive and seems to have plenty of money, but we meet three times a month, and each time I receive an allowance of 50,000 yen. He makes me go to inexpensive lunch spots, and when we include adult time (intimate), each date takes about 10 hours. Around five of those hours are spent at a hotel, where he asks for two rounds.
I know it’s something I have to accept because I receive an allowance, and I’m grateful that he’s been seeing me regularly for a long time rather than being someone who offers 100,000 yen on a pay-per-meeting basis. Still, I’d like him either to increase the allowance or shorten the amount of time I’m expected to spend with him.
I’m naturally timid and have trouble clearly saying no, so I’ve been going along with the long dates and agreeing even when he asks for two rounds. How can I bring this up tactfully without offending him?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
It’s already in the past, but the first meeting is crucial.
If you don’t set it at four hours from the beginning, that will become the default going forward.
If you’re unhappy and want things to improve, I think all you can do is tell him, while also considering ending the arrangement.
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Even men in their 50s can be tough, let alone those in their 70s.
You’re doing well to keep seeing them.
If he were a papa you really loved, you’d want to spend hours together, but doing that in your 20s is just too much… lol
If you’re willing to put up with it for the allowance, just tell him that the mama-katsu girls are busy with other work during the summer and ask to shorten your time together for now.
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Expecting a 70-year-old man to change anything is pretty unrealistic.
Ah, to be young.
If it’s painful, don’t try to change him—just create some distance yourself.
People say you should either make your passion your job or learn to love your job. In your case, you could either find a new older papa you can tolerate—or, ideally, come to love—even if the allowance is low or the terms aren’t great, or learn to like the papa you’re currently seeing.
I think the latter would be pretty tough, though, haha.
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Five for ten hours? That’s ridiculous. Let’s end things right away.
Maybe he’s losing it? I don’t want to become that kind of 70-year-old.
Still, his stamina and nerve to go two rounds are impressive.
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> You said you’re timid and have trouble clearly saying no.
If you keep being considerate and going on dates you don’t actually enjoy, I think it’ll be difficult to build a relationship with, or meet, a good papa.
If you can’t show when you’re upset or properly communicate what you want and what makes you happy, you won’t be able to show your genuine, expressive, and happy side. From a man’s perspective, that can make you seem boring, so he may be less inclined to see you again.
There are many women at the club, and they’re all lovely. But being “nice” alone can make you blend into the crowd. I think you should use this man as an opportunity to speak up, even if it means the relationship ends. That could lead to better things in the future.
I sometimes go on dates lasting half a day or even a full day, but those are always the result of the woman’s requests—sometimes pretty unreasonable ones?—to go farther away or visit various places. In those cases, we usually don’t go to a hotel, and without a hotel, the allowance is the same as for a two-hour dinner date.
There are plenty of papas who find joy in making sure the woman is having a good time and feels comfortable. So you don’t need to go out of your way to keep your papa happy. In fact, being less concerned about his mood might feel refreshing to him.
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