I understand that compatibility between two people is subjective, so things like “we met, but the chemistry wasn’t there” or “I changed my mind” can happen.
That said, I’ve recently had a string of men whose behavior I found extremely rude, and I’m at a loss.
Specifically:
- After receiving an offer, I went to dinner for our first meeting, only to be told, “I’m seriously looking for someone to remarry, so I’d be uncomfortable if you expected any financial arrangement.” He only gave me the allowance after I brought it up myself when we were saying goodbye.
After we agreed on a date and meeting place for our second meeting, he suddenly blocked me without even a brief message or goodbye.
- After our first dinner, he contacted me on another day and said, “Would around [time] work? I’m busy and don’t have much time, so come to [hotel].” He was only looking for intimacy. There would be no dinner or anything else—we would simply meet, be intimate, and leave. I politely declined.
His response was just, “Got it.”
Regarding the first offer, the club can intervene, and I can leave feedback in the questionnaire. But I feel that anything after that becomes the individuals’ responsibility.
Still, it really irritates me that men like this have five-star ratings.
Would it serve any purpose to report men who don’t behave like gentlemen or who make me uncomfortable to the club, even after the first meeting?
They haven’t committed a crime, and I suppose I should simply stop seeing them and forget about it. But I’m still left feeling unsettled.
I understand that male members are important customers to the club, so they probably won’t be warned or reprimanded. However, I feel that many men are misunderstanding how the club is supposed to be used.
I still can’t quite accept it… Sorry for the disjointed post.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
At the end of the day, this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so it goes both ways. As I’ve written in my column, there are plenty of rude women too, lol.
That’s just how it is. Finding a good papa (a male supporter) is a process, and sometimes it simply comes down to luck. The next papa could be unpleasant again, or you might meet a wonderful monthly papa (a monthly arrangement) next time.
I’d say this site is probably better than apps, since it’s easier to pass the interview for a club here.
Just like in marketing, it’s the Pareto principle, lol:
About 20% are decent papas, while 80% are difficult. You might receive three offers before finding someone you’re satisfied with—and even then, you may or may not end up with one monthly arrangement. (Even when I make the offers, that’s about the same ratio.)
Let’s hang in there and do our best.
If you come across a strange papa, please leave detailed feedback so others won’t have to deal with the same person. We’d appreciate your help in keeping as many weird or unsuitable people out as possible!
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It’s exhausting when you keep running into men who don’t meet your expectations one after another, isn’t it? I’m a man myself, but I believe I understand how you feel. And as you’ve surmised, Uchu Club is basically supported by its male members, so even from my perspective as a male member, it does seem somewhat lenient toward them. That said, you do need to be careful about how you phrase things, but I believe it’s a good idea to report men’s attitudes from the second meeting onward.
From your post, you seem to understand this well, but wouldn’t your experience be one of the real advantages of B2? In other words, it’s useful for drawing out the true nature of male members. You could even say it serves as a litmus test.
In any case, your judgment was correct. It wasn’t as though you encountered the same type of man five times in a row, and if it was only two or three times, that may simply be fairly common.
I hope you have a better encounter next time.
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If the first man tried not to give you travel expenses, that was clearly against the rules.
What concerns me is that he was obviously a person to avoid—so why did you make plans to meet him a second time?
As for the second man, in my case, it’s basically always combined with dinner, but some men may say that when they’re short on time.
Since you’re type B2, making plans to meet a second time would generally imply having an adult relationship (intimate) as well. Were you okay with that?
*The basic rule for B2 is that if the chemistry isn’t right, you only have dinner at the first meeting and don’t meet again afterward.*
By the way, you can answer the questionnaire anytime, so you can also meet someone a few times, see how things go, and then respond.
I mainly choose dating type B, so I often leave the questionnaire unanswered at the initial setting.
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Are you asking whether it would still be worthwhile to report a man who behaved ungentlemanly or made you uncomfortable to the club, even after the first meeting?
At the very least, I think it serves as a way to protect yourself from being judged by the club staff based solely on the man’s one-sided account.
Also, the staff are human. You shouldn’t expect outright favoritism, but if you build a good relationship with them, they may be reasonably inclined to do something helpful for you.
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