A woman told me, “I really like you, so I don’t need an allowance anymore.”
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I’m happy to hear that, but at the same time, I’m afraid we won’t be able to maintain a clear boundary anymore. What would you do in this situation?
For reference, I’m married.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
Is saying “I really like you” actually a red flag?
That sounds scary—what if he starts asking you to leave your wife, or secretly records videos of you?
You really need to talk it through. That’s what the allowance is for, after all, so you should make sure you receive it.
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I’m Akai from Universe Club, and I’d like to answer as well.
There’s a reason people say, “Nothing is scarier than something free.”
If you want to be in a romantic relationship with this woman, you may be happy that she likes you.
However, if you don’t feel that way, the allowance was what allowed you to maintain the relationship without any awkwardness or reservations. So the idea of continuing without an allowance can feel quite unsettling.
That said, I can’t tell which way you feel about her. It may sound like I’m shirking responsibility, but ultimately, the decision comes down to you.
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You haven’t crossed that line yet.
It’s not that you need an allowance, but you never said you wouldn’t accept one if a man offered it.
Why not give him the usual amount, or try negotiating it down a little? If he refuses to accept it, then I suppose that means he’s crossing the line into changing the nature of your relationship.
If you’re giving in because you’ve fallen for him, try offering a lower amount. And if he still won’t accept it, just stop seeing him—no mercy.
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It must feel good to be liked that much.
Even so, not giving them an allowance is out of the question.
You’re scared, aren’t you? If you have no intention of divorcing your spouse and marrying this person, you shouldn’t give them false hope.
Depending on their circumstances, I think it would also be considerate to let them know that you’ll only be part of their life until they eventually find someone better and move on from you.
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If you don’t feel that strongly, it might be better to draw a line. You wouldn’t want to give them false expectations. In the end, I think it’s really about how you feel.
If you like them, I say go for it. Things might get a little complicated, but that can be a valuable experience too. Your 40s can be a lot of fun.
Taro
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