If you’re okay with ending the relationship, you could bring it up.
That said, this activity inherently carries the risk of STIs, so I think it’s best to be prepared to cover your own medical expenses if you do contract one. You should probably consider that risk to be part of the allowance.
Just like with COVID or the flu, germs don’t come with someone’s name written on them, lol. So you can’t prove who you caught it from...
There’s nothing more awkward than telling someone, “My test came back positive, so you should get tested too,” only for their result to come back negative! lol
But even if the man you’re seeing tests positive, that doesn’t really solve anything either, because you still don’t know which one of you transmitted it.
You both say, “You’re the only person I’m seeing.” Naturally, if that wasn’t true on your end, you’d assume it wasn’t true for the other person either. Proving that you *don’t* have anyone else is practically a proof of a negative. So this problem will never be resolved. Is this what they call a Nash equilibrium? This situation, I mean. (Not really.)
Insisting too forcefully will only damage the relationship, because their doubts about you won’t disappear. If it’s someone you don’t mind losing, the smart thing might be to stop seeing them without making a big fuss. But if you want to continue the relationship, I think it’s better to forgive each other with a “These things happen to both of us, right?” and aim for a constructive agreement like, “Regular testing is important.”
If the woman tests positive but you test negative, that’s a tricky one too. Then she might say, “The doctor told me it could just be part of my normal flora,” and a papa-katsu girl who just has an STI permanently hanging around would be a bit much, wouldn’t she? I even thought about submitting it to the late-night radio segment called “I Can’t Stand These Kinds of PJ Girls.”
Trying to argue, “That’s different in the case of this particular infection, unlike something like candidiasis,” would just make you seem unpleasant. In situations like this, maybe the kind thing is to lie and say, “I tested positive too.”
Taro
You’re the one who has to prove that you “clearly caught an STD from the other person.” That’s a pretty high hurdle.
For starters, you’d have to prove that you didn’t take your underwear off for anyone other than that person. You’d also need those other people to go to the hospital for testing.
Also, my understanding is that if you’re receiving an allowance, the risks of that kind are considered to be included in it. The same goes for pregnancy—this activity is probably riskier than you think.
In any case, depending on how you handle it, you could end up being the one committing a crime. I’m no expert, so I can’t say for sure, but demanding money without any basis could be considered extortion.
I’m worried that you might end up becoming a criminal.
