I’m the person who asked about my papa (a male supporter) of one year. Thank you for your response.

You may not have realized it, but it seems to me that the key word in your question is “three months.” Let me explain why. Last year, I had dinner with a man who runs a marriage agency and heard all sorts of stories about the business. They were fascinating and full of interesting anecdotes. What surprised me most was the agency’s rule that, once a couple officially declared they were dating—and the woman would no longer be introduced to other candidates—they had to decide within three months whether to get engaged. The relationship could be extended once, but there was an additional fee for the extension. Apparently, 95% of the couples who eventually got engaged did so within those three months. Now, you’ve happened to mention a period of three months as well. If this were a marriage agency, your papa (a male supporter) would have to pay an extension fee. If there’s no concrete action, you may want to give up on marriage, at least for now. After all, this isn’t a marriage agency. Setting aside what your papa truly meant, he probably didn’t join with the intention of finding a marriage partner. So the moment you bring up marriage, there’s a good chance his words and behavior will change. That said, I don’t think your papa’s words were completely made up. Just don’t take them too seriously.

He said he’d “leave his wife,” but that doesn’t necessarily mean “get divorced.” So that’s how you can interpret it... A man protected by the law, doing this to a single woman in a weaker position while making sure he has an escape route. How pathetic. You should trust actions, not words. Until there’s a concrete result—namely, that he has actually divorced his wife—it’s best to assume everything he says is a lie. Even if he somehow cleared every hurdle and you were able to marry him, wouldn’t he just say the same things to another woman? Men who cheat or have affairs tend to repeat the pattern. A man who stole someone else’s partner will eventually be stolen away by another woman. I haven’t taken an actual survey, but I’ve seen plenty of real-life examples like that. It’s me.

Personally, I’d be completely put off if a man who seemed to be getting along well with his family told his allowance partner, after only three months or so, that he genuinely wanted to leave his current family and marry her. Someone who says things like that will probably say the same thing to his next mistress. You said Joe’s opinion really hit home, but I don’t think you properly read or understood his answer. You wrote that you hope his feelings will return, but in your previous question, you only mentioned that you no longer go somewhere for a second round and that you’ve been talking less. It may not have anything to do with marriage. Rather than bringing up marriage, I think you should tell him that you feel lonely now that you no longer go somewhere for a second round, or that you feel like you haven’t been talking as much lately.