You should get a lawyer as soon as possible.
Try to imagine this: you lend someone money, or they injure you, and you’re in a position to demand compensation from them. You hire a lawyer for something like ¥165,000.
The initial legal fee—the retainer—is nonrefundable. Then, about a week later, your lawyer tells you, “The other party seems remorseful, so let’s give up on pursuing the money.” Would you really say, “Okay, understood. Thank you, counselor”?
At the very least, wouldn’t you want them to recover enough to cover the legal fees? You’d probably want to complain: “Hey, counselor—you said we could demand ¥1 million, or even ¥1.5 million, didn’t you?”
Lawyers only get paid their success fee after recovering money or reaching an agreement on installment payments, so there’s no reason for them to take the risk of facing a complaint from their client. Threatening to take the matter to court and recovering money is both more profitable and better service for the client.
That being the case, it’s highly unlikely that the person asking the question will be able to walk away unscathed without paying anything.
Now, let’s say the asker does their best to handle things without hiring a lawyer. They might admit facts that put them at a disadvantage, or do something that further provokes the wife’s anger.
Eventually, they may find themselves with no options and decide to hire a lawyer later on. But by then, the lawyer will be thinking, “You should have come to me much earlier. Why did you dig yourself into an even deeper hole and blow yourself up?” Of course, they probably won’t put it quite that bluntly.
Claims for damages over adultery are routine work that can be handled without an especially high level of skill or experience, and many law firms attract clients online and process these cases in a highly mechanical manner.
If the law firm representing the other side lists “claims for damages resulting from adultery” as one of its services on its website, that’s probably the kind of operation you’re dealing with.
In that case, the lawyer representing the claimant isn’t considering any resolution other than getting the asker to pay.
It depends on what you want to do, but it also depends on what the other party wants to do.
The other party will also incur attorney’s fees. If they pursue a lawsuit, they’ll have to pay not only legal fees and court costs, but also invest a great deal of time and effort. Do they really want to go through all that trouble?
Is your goal simply to cut ties with your papa?
Is the claim for damages mainly a matter of pride or emotion?
Would someone with enough money to be a papa really go through all this just to get ¥1 million?
I don’t think you need to rush to respond to the other party.
As more time passes, their anger may start to cool down. Even if you negotiate, it may go better once they’ve calmed down.
Also, your lack of money can be viewed from the opposite perspective:
There’s nothing for them to take from you—in fact, that puts you in a stronger position.
Follow-up:
After reading Mac’s answer:
> Unless the wife is an extremely unreasonable person, she probably won’t go as far as filing a lawsuit against a PJ who has no money, especially if she’s reflected on the situation.
I agree.
If you don’t have someone close to you who can introduce you to a lawyer, I don’t think the chances of finding a lawyer you can work well with are particularly high.
In a case involving a relatively small amount of money like this, both you and the other party would have to put in a considerable amount of effort to gather evidence and present arguments that could determine the outcome of the trial.
In dramas, lawyers conduct impressive investigations as though they were detectives. In reality, however, in many cases the client has to patiently gather detailed evidence themselves without giving up. Also, since the client is the only one who knows the facts, if they can’t offer anything useful, the case may proceed to judgment based only on superficial information. There’s no real disadvantage to the lawyer if the case ends quickly.
The other party probably understands perfectly well that pursuing such a complicated process isn’t worth it, especially if they can easily hire a lawyer.
If the certified letter only demands ¥1 million—the maximum amount they can use as leverage—that may mean they know full well that the amount would shrink considerably if they actually filed a lawsuit, and therefore don’t really want to take it to court.
> The moment the questioner hires a lawyer, their loss is guaranteed.
I feel the same way about this.
The chances of a lawyer devoting much effort to a case with little prospect of a contingency fee are extremely low.
