I’m a hopeless PJ who’s always asking everyone questions.
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After my papa (a male supporter) sent me my January allowance, he asked why I was continuing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). I replied honestly that my boyfriend and I are in a sexless relationship, that women have sexual desires too, and that I can receive at least some allowance while having sex. He replied, “Please find another papa.”
I felt I should be honest, but does that mean I’m not cut out for papa-katsu?
Also, I find it difficult to say I like my papa when I don’t actually like him.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Member of another dating club
I think you’re actually well-suited to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
Your honesty is a good thing, and so is the fact that you don’t see it as purely business—you have likes, dislikes, and feelings involved.
There’s nothing wrong with you. You ask good questions and give the people answering plenty of interesting material to work with. They’re all piling in like piranhas swarming around their prey.
After all, respondents only exist through their relationship with the person asking the question. Without questions, there would be no answers. You’re the source that gives them their reason to exist.（笑）
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The questioner’s answer basically comes across as saying straight to the papa, “All I want from you is your dick and your money.” Just because the allowance has been transferred, there’s no need to hurt the other person unnecessarily.
Go find another papa.
As for the right response to this, considering your interactions with this papa so far, the answer is simple. It’s not difficult.
【Example of the right answer】
“I can’t do papa-katsu with just anyone, sob. I can do it because it’s you. Obviously. I don’t want us to break up—I want to see you, sob.”
Pretending to like someone might be exhausting, but how about conveying roughly this kind of nuance?
- You’re special among all my papas.
- You’re my top priority among my papas.
- You’re the only person I can have a relationship with as my papa.
Many men would be happy with even this level of sentiment.
Try to find the wording that’s just within the limits of what you can compromise on.
The skill of saying things that will make the person in front of you happy can be useful in many situations, so keep learning by trying different approaches.
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Oh dear… so he told you it was over. That’s a shame.
But don’t worry—I don’t think you’re a bad papa-katsu girl. You’re just going about it the wrong way.
There’s nothing more boring than seeing a papa when you’re just settling for him, right? That probably won’t last, and you know that yourself.
If you’re going to be intimate with someone anyway, you’ll be hundreds of times happier being held by a papa you genuinely adore and receiving an allowance from him.
What you need to appeal to is emotion—emotion.
Okay, next.
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Personally, I find “I get to have sex and receive at least some allowance” far more appealing than a fake-sounding “I like you.”
My married partner says something similar to me, but we’re still together.
Fake declarations of affection are what turn me off.
You can generally tell how a woman feels about you from her everyday words and actions.
So when someone tells the kind of insulting lie that they like you, I’m the one who says, “Please find another papa (a male supporter).”
So I think it was simply a matter of being incompatible with that papa.
A follow-up after reading Flag-san’s answer:
> “All you want from me is my dick and my money.”
I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Personally, I find it far more appealing than being told things like “you’re kind” by someone who has nothing genuinely complimentary to say about me.
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I think you haven’t yet identified what you actually need.
Even I’m unattractive and can’t remember ever being called handsome by my wife or a girlfriend, yet women doing papa-katsu have called me handsome, good-looking, charming, or said they liked me.
Obviously, in an ordinary relationship between a man and a woman, people wouldn’t usually say those things. They’re saying them because there’s an allowance involved, along with the way you treat them and the relationship you build beyond your appearance.
Unless you can recognize what you need, what you value, and what makes you feel happy or grateful, you’ll probably just keep repeating the same pattern.
Also, if your situation is bad enough that you feel you need to do papa-katsu, yet you’re still putting up with living with your current boyfriend, that suggests the strain is being pushed onto other parts of your life, trapping you in a vicious cycle. I don’t think you’re looking at that situation objectively.
Ideally, you could be living comfortably without money worries with the boyfriend you live with now. Unless you resolve that contradiction—unless you truly wake up to it—the chances of things progressing the way you want are very low.
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In the end, the papa did pay properly, even if it was later, so neither he nor the person asking seems unreasonable. There have been plenty of harsh opinions, though.
Being able to fix things is important.
As for your answer to his question, I don’t think being his second choice or so is necessarily bad. I’d keep going if I were you.
The ideal situation would be that your boyfriend isn’t financially capable and you actually prefer your papa, but lying that much would come across as unnatural, wouldn’t it? Papa-katsu is best suited to people who can lie without hesitation and say they like someone.
If he cut you off even though you didn’t give the worst possible answer, like saying you’re only in it for the money, it may already be over. At least you managed to collect the final allowance, so let’s call that a win.
It may be difficult to both stay with your handsome but broke boyfriend and make big money as a papa-katsu girl.
Since you’re cute, working in the adult entertainment industry during your free time might be better—you can choose your own hours.
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