I’d like some advice about a papa from a dating club.
When I received my first offer and met him for the first meeting, he told me, “If anything difficult comes up besides your allowance, tell me right away and I’ll help you.” I never asked to borrow money, but when I mentioned that I was having a hard time covering ¥40,000 this month, he said, “I’ll help you,” and gave me ¥40,000 in addition to my allowance.
Later, he told me that if I wasn’t going to date him, he had no intention of continuing, and that if we broke up, I had to return the ¥40,000 he had given me. He also said he would contact the club and tell them about the money if we broke up, so I reluctantly agreed to date him.
He said that since we were dating, we had built a relationship of trust, and that refusing to show him my driver’s license proved I didn’t trust him. He has also been pressuring me into an adult relationship. I haven’t had an adult relationship with him, shown him my driver’s license, or told him my address, but he is pressuring me to provide both my ID and home location.
He said that if I entered into a pay-per-meeting adult relationship for ¥50,000 each time, he would give me ¥150,000 at the beginning of every month. However, even after we started dating, he didn’t give me the ¥150,000. Instead, he said he wouldn’t give it to me unless we had an intimate relationship.
He said he wanted to have an intimate relationship three or four times a month, so I asked him, “Wouldn’t ¥150,000 be too little if we did that four times a month?” He replied, “What? I’m giving you ¥150,000, so that should be enough.”
I know I’m partly at fault for accepting the ¥40,000, but afterward he started bringing up all kinds of things he had never mentioned before, and he often makes things complicated. I find him increasingly troublesome.
Whenever anything happens, he threatens to tell the club about the ¥40,000.
I want to end things with him, but I’m not sure whether it’s okay to break up given the situation. This was my first offer through a club, so I don’t know what to do and wanted to ask for advice.
Thank you.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I’m guessing the questioner has only shared the parts that suit them, so it’s difficult to give accurate advice. Maybe the papa should post his side of the story in the Q&A box too. Though I’m sure they’d just end up talking past each other.
In the end, the only way to prevent problems like this is to protect yourself beforehand. Trying to receive an allowance in advance from someone you don’t have a relationship of trust with is simply too risky. And if you don’t want to be subjected to endless complaining or have the club contacted, you could just return the 40,000 yen. Problem solved immediately.
On the other hand, getting an allowance in advance from someone you don’t trust could also be seen as a risk-free gamble. If they turn out to be a good person, you keep it; if they turn out to be unpleasant, you return it. Returning it doesn’t put you at a loss.
That’s how I see it, but am I missing something?
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If you don’t have another date set with that papa, block him.
Then report the situation to the club. The reason is that he may complain about various things, and there’s a chance only your rating will be lowered.
When reporting it to the club, try not to get emotional—just calmly state the facts.
I know it’s tough, but hang in there.
I hope you get an offer from a great papa next time.
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That sounds like a terrible experience for your first offer.
People like this malicious “old guy” make those of us pursuing healthy relationships worry, and they also damage women’s trust in men. As a fellow man, I’m truly sorry.
As for your question, you’re the one being extorted. I believe “allowance” is essentially the same as “support,” so you could consider the first allowance to have been increased accordingly.
And demanding that you “give him money” is clearly extortion. First, block him completely right away.
Contact the club and tell them, “I’m being extorted. He’s demanding that I provide my personal information.” It would also be helpful to have screenshots as evidence.
The club will verify the facts, so I think it’s best to leave the response to them.
For now, forget about this incident and either wait for your next offer or message someone who seems promising on PATOLO.
I hope you meet a great papa (a male supporter). Good luck!
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You never became intimate, so why not just forget about him as if nothing ever happened?
As the self-proclaimed “farmer” said, the man is the one who’d be in trouble if the 40,000 yen were brought up.
It’s a waste of time to keep overthinking it. Your terms are completely out of sync, and I don’t see you being on the same page going forward either.
Marika
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> He said, “If you’re not going to date me from now on, I have no intention of continuing this. If you’re going to break up with me, give back the ¥40,000 I gave you before. If we break up, I’ll contact the club and tell them about the ¥40,000.”
Sorry, but are you an idiot?
He’s the one who gave you the money, right? You didn’t extort it from him, did you?
If you report something like this to the club, that papa (male supporter) will simply be expelled, and that’ll be the end of it.
The moment someone demands money back after giving it to you, I’d report him immediately. If I were you, I wouldn’t hesitate.
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