I’m considering joining and have a question about the relationship types.
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Let’s say I receive an offer, we both like each other, and decide to start seeing each other.
① If we go on several dinner dates before entering into an adult relationship (intimate), would B1 be the appropriate category?
(I can’t say for certain that the adult relationship would necessarily begin from the second date.)
② Suppose we have dinner on the first date, hit it off, and make plans for a second date. However, during the conversation at the second dinner date, my impression of him changes and I decide I no longer want to continue seeing him. Would it be okay to decline the relationship?
③ I would like to properly thank him for taking time out of his busy schedule for me and treating me to dinner, while declining as gently as possible so as not to hurt his feelings.
Would it be okay to send a message like this?
“Thank you for offering to meet me. I really enjoyed the meal, and I’m grateful that you took time out of your busy schedule for me. I’d like to take a little time to think about whether to continue seeing each other. Would it be okay if I had a little time?”
Then, after some time, send something like:
“I’ve given it a lot of thought, but I feel it would be difficult for us to continue seeing each other. I’m truly sorry, especially after you went to the trouble of offering to meet me.”
④ Is there any chance that declining could lead to harassment or some kind of retaliation?
⑤ After that, should I simply wait for the next offer?
I apologize for the trouble, and I would greatly appreciate your advice.
I think the approach you’re considering sounds good.
As for the content, it’s perfect (lol).
I don’t think you’ll have to worry about harassment. Every now and then, you do hear stories about someone being harassed, but I think you can minimize the risk by limiting the personal information you share until you get to know them better.
The great thing about a dating club is that you can turn someone down after meeting them in person, and you get to decide the terms of the arrangement yourself.
Just enjoy having a meal while getting a feel for the man sitting across from you (lol). He’s probably thinking along the same lines while he eats, so it can be fun (lol).
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Here are my answers:
① If you enter into an adult relationship (intimate) after going on several dinner dates, is B1 the appropriate type?
(It’s not necessarily guaranteed that things will become intimate from the second date onward.)
→ If it’s after multiple dates, then yes, your understanding that the dating type is B1 is correct.
② I had a dinner date at our first meeting, we hit it off, and made plans for the next date. However, during our second dinner date, my impression of him changed, and I decided I no longer wanted to continue seeing him. Would it be okay to decline?
→ Since B1 means multiple dates, it’s only natural that you may decide along the way that you’re not a good match. There’s no problem with that.
③ I’d like to properly thank him for taking time out of his busy schedule to meet me and treating me to dinner, then turn him down in a way that hurts him as little as possible.
→ In my case, I’d understand from the wording of your message and accept it. I think most people would be okay with it.
④ If I turn him down, is there any chance I might face harassment or some kind of retaliation?
→ Generally speaking, unless someone has behaved particularly badly, it’s rare for people to seek retaliation. However, I can’t say there’s absolutely no risk.
⑤ After that, should I simply wait for the next offer?
→ An approach from a female member would be lovely. I think that’s probably how it works, aside from sending messages or updating your profile.
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