Is it possible to experience a father figure through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)?
Sorry for making this about myself, but I grew up without feeling much affection from my parents. They had children for appearances’ sake—I’ve heard them say this themselves—and their go-to line to me, their only daughter, was, “You’d better work hard since we’re investing ¥___ in you every month.”
I feel that financial support was what connected me to my parents.
As a result, even now as an adult, I can’t seem to let go of my longing for a family—especially for a father.
Unlike a real father, a papa (a male supporter) in papa-katsu may also expect a physical relationship, so I understand that he won’t be giving me unconditional love. I accept that it would only be a temporary imitation of that kind of relationship.
Even so, I feel I would be very reassured if an older man gently watched over me and offered me warm words. Financial support would be an added bonus, of course.
In short, I want to try papa-katsu because I feel that I can’t experience a pseudo father-daughter relationship with someone my own age or with a romantic partner.
So my question is: Should I tell potential papas that I’m looking for a fatherly relationship? Or would that put them off, meaning I should keep quiet about it?
I’m not planning to see multiple papas; ultimately, I intend to choose just one.
I’d really appreciate any advice you can offer someone like me.
For context, I’m so starved for fatherly affection that I once clung to an ex-boyfriend, crying, “Dad…!”—and completely freaked him out. (Lol)
Thank you.
When I was 29, I became the mistress of a 68-year-old man, and that’s pretty much what it was like.
I wasn’t particularly starved for fatherly affection, but he was the one who told me to call him “Papa.” At department stores, he would say things like, “Pick out an accessory for my daughter,” and at his regular shops, he introduced me as his daughter.
He was older than my own father, and I was about ten years younger than his biological daughter.
So I think it’s best to choose a papa (a male supporter) who’s genuinely old enough to be your father and simply call him “Papa” naturally.
Strangely enough, once we started acting like father and daughter, people began telling us that we looked alike. Papa and I would share a quiet laugh about it behind the scenes.
A fond memory.
Marika
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As the relationship deepens, it may sometimes come to fill a paternal role.
Quite literally, he becomes a substitute for your father. Since the allowance aspect of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) can also partly serve as a substitute for parental support, I think it can make it easier to fill that role emotionally as well.
I believe papa-katsu can fulfill needs that are lacking, including a sense of paternal affection.
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For now, this is still just something you’re imagining, so why not try papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and see for yourself?
Some papas (male supporters) don’t want a serious relationship, while others are looking for a light adult relationship (intimate).
At first, I’d recommend not limiting yourself to just one person. Date several papas, accept their paternal affection, and narrow it down to the ones who seem likely to be a good fit for you.
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I have no problem interacting with them either.
To begin with, the age gap is so significant that I could never be their boyfriend. And I want the women I date to grow into attractive, mature adults, so to speak（笑）
Complaining about work, how they approach their jobs, workplace relationships, how to build up savings, and how to spend money are all topics that come up regularly.
If you talk while paying attention to the other person, you’re sure to find someone who responds well and is easy to interact with.
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