I bought her an expensive gift once, and ever since then she’s expected another expensive gift every year. It’s becoming a problem.
Is there any way to steer her toward choosing something less expensive without upsetting her?
The first gift was a ¥400,000 bag, but lately, partly because of the weak yen, even the cheapest items cost around ¥600,000. We’ve been together for about six years, and I think I’ve spent around ¥10 million on gifts alone.
However, I don’t feel the same affection for her as I used to, and I no longer want to spend that much on gifts.
I’m starting to think that breaking up may be my only option, but if anyone has a good suggestion for getting her to accept cheaper gifts, I’d appreciate your advice.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂Not stated👑Universe male member
It’s simple.
Just say, “Nothing too expensive, okay?” (lol)
They won’t ask for expensive things after that. I think women also understand their position.
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I’m Takei from the Universe Club staff.
Once you give someone something expensive, it can quickly become the norm.
I once heard from a male member that if he ever starts hesitating over a payment, that’s when it’s time to end the relationship.
He said that when it comes to a woman he really likes, he naturally wants to make her happy and do things for her, so he never feels that he’s spending too much.
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I’ve never given an expensive gift, so I’ve never really thought about it. But if you feel the affection is gone and breaking up is the only option, then I think you should do that.
For that amount, you can find plenty of women of similar caliber.
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I think you see her as someone important enough to keep around, but not important enough to spend much on. At the same time, she probably feels that dating you isn’t worth it unless she receives at least that much—that’s likely how she sees the arrangement.
If you try to get away with paying less, won’t she cut you off?
The way you say that your feelings have started to fade makes me think you’d be better off ending things yourself rather than being dumped. It would probably help you save face.
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Thank you for your question. I’ll answer as Maezawa as well.
> “I feel like we may have no choice but to break things off if this continues.”
If that’s how you feel, I think you should consider ending things rather than thinking about switching to cheaper gifts.
Try asking yourself whether you’d still want to keep seeing her if you continued giving her the same gifts as before.
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Once you’ve given her a certain amount, you can’t exactly ask her to accept something cheaper.
What you’re saying to her is essentially that you want to lower her allowance.
If your feelings have faded that much, I think it would be best to end things.
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Normally, after being together for many years, people start treating their partner’s money much like their own—spending when it’s worthwhile and being frugal when it isn’t.
It seems the opposite is happening here.
The questioner no longer feels attracted to the woman, and she likely feels the same way. I think they’re in a relationship where neither truly cares about the other anymore.
Some people grow tired of their partner, while others find them more and more precious over time. Is that determined by the person themselves, or by their partner?
Even after decades of marriage, some people still feel deeply grateful every day, thinking, “My wife is such a wonderful woman.” Even feelings like that aren’t necessarily easy to convey to the other person.
I think your partner has also picked up on how you feel now.
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