Do papas take their PJ to expensive restaurants because they think she’ll be happy?
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Is it basically the same as buying her something she wants and giving it to her as a present?
I’m expected to spend two or three hours drinking and talking with him, followed by an adult relationship, and it’s exhausting. I’d honestly find it easier to just grab gyudon together for 10 minutes.
Apparently, that’s not how it works, though. He says things like, “You don’t often find men who take you to restaurants like this, do you?”
I’m dieting, so I always have to force myself to eat even though it’s difficult...
What I hate most is that he lowers my allowance because of this.
It feels like he wants to reduce my allowance by the difference to make up for the expensive meals... from 50,000 to 30,000 yen, for example.
I could understand it if I actually wanted to go to those restaurants or receive those things, but I feel like he just wants to expense everything.
He’s stingy, but I haven’t cut him off because keeping him still increases my monthly income overall. Lately, though, the stress has started to outweigh the benefits.
He sends me photos every day showing off the expensive restaurants he goes to. I feel like he’s trying to say, “You won’t be able to eat like this once you leave me.”
It’s true that there aren’t many people who take you to expensive restaurants every time, but...
This all started after I told him I wanted to take a short break from seeing him.
I do want to go to nice restaurants, but there are also people who would take me without lowering my allowance, so it hurts feeling like I’m being lowballed.
He has a financially manipulative side and always talks me into things so he can get the best deal possible. I’ve never complained, which is probably why this has continued for years.
Is the papa in the wrong here?
Or is this normal?
Am I complaining too much?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Why can’t you tell your papa, “I’m on a diet, so could we skip the fancy restaurants?”
You end up going to restaurants because you agree to everything he says.
It would be nice if you could build a relationship where you can be open and honest with each other.
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That papa is in the wrong too, but you’re also complaining a bit too much.
In our case, we don’t always go to restaurants, but when I invite her, she’s happy and says, “We don’t get to go out like this very often...”
Anyway, make sure you both communicate and come to an understanding about those things as you continue seeing each other.
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As you’ve guessed, papas take their dates to reasonably nice restaurants because they think the women will enjoy it. So when someone says gyudon is fine, many papas are probably disappointed. And besides, it’s embarrassing to claim a bowl of beef over rice as a business expense.
Let me be clear: the women at Uchu Club seem to assume that every papa claims all dining expenses as business expenses, but that’s not the case.
Many small-business owners like me think, “If it belongs to the company, it belongs to me—even down to a single pencil!” My tax accountant tells me to spend more than ¥2 million a month on expenses, but honestly, I don’t want to spend a single yen on meals with someone who won’t lead to business.
So in my case, meals with Uchu Club women come out of my own pocket. When someone says, “You’re claiming this expensive sushi dinner as a business expense anyway, right?” it makes me absolutely furious, against my better judgment.
Please keep that in mind. I’m begging you.
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I think it really comes down to compatibility with the man, including shared values like that.
With my favorite papa, we sometimes have breakfast at Gusto or Sukiya near his vacation home early in the morning, when nowhere else is open. That’s fun in its own way, because our relationship has become more than just an allowance-based arrangement.
But if it were a typical allowance-based arrangement, I wouldn’t want to eat a cheap bowl of beef and then go to some run-down love hotel or business hotel, even if the allowance were generous. To me, a date means enjoying good food and pleasant conversation together, along with everything else.
Papa supporters should also quickly identify girls who only care about money and just keep things to the hotel, if that’s all they want.
Marika
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I’m doing this for my own satisfaction, so I don’t lower my allowance because of it. Unfortunately, I can’t understand that man’s feelings.
Even if you go on a trip or he gives you presents, it seems like the allowance still gets lowered.
If I had to say what’s wrong, I’d say it’s that you’re accepting it. The man probably thinks it’s okay because you—and other girls—are willing to accept it.
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I’m Shiro Usagi, one of the newer answerers.
So, you’re having a hard time because your allowance was reduced in exchange for going to an upscale restaurant. Spending such a long time dining is stressful, and you’d rather keep things quick and casual—even if that means choosing somewhere less fancy. Is that right?
In that case, why not suggest a restaurant yourself? You’ll have a better idea of the budget, and you should be able to estimate the time and portion sizes to some extent. If you say, “I’d like to go to this place,” your papa (a male supporter) will probably try to accommodate you. Fast food might be a bit much, but a café could work just fine.
As for your allowance, if it’s been reduced, your options are to ask him to restore it, accept the new amount, or say goodbye. So why not ask him once and see if he’ll return it to the original amount?
If he’s the type to have excessive pride and say, “I’m not eating at a place like that!” then your values may simply be different. Personally, I’d rather someone tell me what they want, and I think that way both people can spend time together without unnecessary stress.
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Setting generalities aside, maybe that’s simply the case with this particular papa (a male supporter). I think the person asking the question emphasized those actions because they feel the same way.
You’re asking, “Am I complaining too much?” But you haven’t actually complained to him at all, have you? Isn’t that the real issue?
The meals can be simple. The allowance is important, so keep that as is. That’s really all there is to it.
I don’t know why you said you wanted to take a short break from meeting, but then you added, “I’d still like to go to a high-end restaurant.” From the man’s perspective, if you then agreed to the date when he offered to take you to such a place, isn’t that how it looked? If so, he may actually think he was accommodating your preferences. That may be why he lowered the allowance for the meal.
Other people aren’t the same as you. They see things from different perspectives and may have different values. Communication means considering how the other person might interpret and think about things, clearly conveying your own wishes, and finding a compromise. Rather than putting everything on the other person, I think it’s better to consider how you can guide things toward the outcome you want.
Taro
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