I made her an offer last month, and we entered into an adult relationship (intimate) from the very first meeting. After we finished being intimate on our second date, we had the following conversation:
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Her: “Would you make me your girlfriend for a flat ¥200,000 a month?”
Me: “Well, I’d be okay with ¥50,000 per meeting. But having four dates a month might be difficult.” (I already have several other partners, so four times a month would honestly be hard.)
Her: “I’m so happy! I can quit the club now!”
That last comment instantly turned me off.
She is attractive and has a good personality, but since she’s in her late 40s, perhaps she had trouble finding a good papa (a male supporter). I messaged her the next day saying, “For your own sake, wouldn’t it be better not to quit the club?” However, I’m thinking of ending things soon, before her expectations grow. So I have a few questions:
① Is being rejected a normal experience for female members of this club?
② For the male members who continue making offers while searching for the right woman, how do you tell someone that you want to end the relationship?
③ A question for the club: Would this situation result in my rating being lowered?
I regret not telling her that I have other partners as well. Since I didn’t, perhaps she took the relationship more seriously and became more emotionally invested.
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Sorry, I wish you hadn’t said that. I’m not looking for that kind of relationship. It’s probably best to let him know how you feel—the sooner, the better ( ; ; )
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① Is it normal for female members of this club to be turned down?
→ I’d say so. Haven’t you also experienced being blocked by someone you were talking to?
② For male members who continue making offers while searching for the ideal woman, how do you let someone know that you’re ending the arrangement?
→ I simply don’t make another date, then fade out and block her on LINE. I don’t go out of my way to announce that it’s over.
③ Question for the club: Would something like this result in my rating being lowered?
→ If you end things inconsiderately and hurt the other person, and she files a complaint with the club, your rating might be lowered.
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I didn’t understand why that would be a turnoff.
I also advise the woman I’m seeing to have someone besides me, but putting that aside, I’d honestly be happy if she told me she wanted to be with me exclusively.
If this is only your second date, the relationship is still in its early, uncertain stages, so it’s perfectly normal to turn her down at this point.
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The woman bringing it up a second time isn’t great either, but you’re even more at fault for replying like that to someone you don’t even want to meet four times a month.
② It’s important to assess someone before starting an arrangement. As long as you keep swinging at balls outside the strike zone, you’ll never hit a home run. You might not even get an extra-base hit or a clean hit.
③ If your arrangements never last, the staff won’t be able to recommend or present you as anything other than “that kind of person.”
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1. I don’t think people usually reject someone face-to-face. Quietly fading out is smoother—or maybe just easier when the relationship isn’t very deep.
2. I think most people don’t explicitly announce that they’re ending the arrangement. If a girl he once made an offer to messages my papa (a male supporter) saying something like, “I’d like to see you again,” he simply ignores it and lets things end.
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