I’m interested in several women, but they often ask me to choose just one of them.
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Personally, I’d like to date a variety of women and continue enjoying relationships with new women as well. However, when I’m honest about that, they often react negatively, so I’m not sure what the right way to respond is.
Since this is a dating club, I assume most men register because they want to enjoy meeting multiple women. But do women generally want you to focus exclusively on one person?
Also, what would be the best way to communicate this? I’d appreciate your advice.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
Depending on how you put it, their opinion of you could really hit rock bottom.
The main reasons women want a man to choose just one partner are probably:
- They’re afraid of catching something
- They simply don’t want to be compared
- They hate not being treated as number one
Things like “Make me your only one…” or “Marry me…” usually aren’t expressions of love for the man. In most cases, they’re about seeking validation or being attracted to the assets he has.
I guess all you can do is find a way for both of you to enjoy the relationship while being sensible about it.
Akari
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When you consider the risk of STIs, it feels safer to be with a man who is only seeing you than with one who sleeps around with various women.
If a woman told you, “I sleep with three or more men every day, which is why I receive over ¥1 million a month through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan),” wouldn’t you find yourself worrying, “I wonder if she’s okay health-wise?”—while conveniently ignoring your own situation?
With that in mind, I think the most sincere approach would be:
End things with women who want you to be exclusive, and only date women who don’t mind you seeing multiple women.
Lying and pretending to be with only one person would probably hurt the other person if you ended up getting sick.
After all, you want to sleep with various women, so I think it would be better to end things with her sooner rather than later.
You might want to start by asking yourself why you want to keep dating the same woman repeatedly—whether you want a long-term relationship with one person or want to see many different women.
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It’s a difficult one…
Saying to someone face-to-face, “I want to sleep with lots of women besides you,” is incredibly rude. I can understand why she’d be upset—it’s basically the same as telling her, “You’re not attractive enough for me to want you all to myself.”
These days, there are claims that as many as one in ten women in their 20s is infected with an STI such as chlamydia, and syphilis is also experiencing an unusually widespread outbreak. So from a woman’s perspective, it’s understandable that she’d want to avoid a papa (a male supporter) who dates multiple women.
So I think you should dodge the question as much as possible. If you can’t, you may need to placate her with something like, “You’re my number one.” Good luck.
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Men and women are all different.
I think it simply comes down to the fact that what you’re looking for in a dating club doesn’t align with what the woman you’re seeing wants.
A relationship with someone whose values are that far apart won’t be enjoyable, so rather than worrying about how to respond, I think you should end things.
Even if you break up with her, there are plenty of other women available to you, so it shouldn’t cause you any inconvenience, should it?
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> Do women want you to focus on just one of them?
I think they want you to put that portion of the allowance toward them instead.
Men often mistake it for jealousy, but jealousy toward a papa (a male supporter) is pretty much out of the question. Even if we generously call it jealousy, women can get jealous of men they don’t even like. The easiest analogy is a wife who gets angry when her husband cheats, even though she’s fallen out of love with him.
> What would be the best way to tell her?
It’s better to be honest and tell her that you’re seeing multiple women. At the same time, keep telling her that you like all the women you’re continuing to see equally and don’t rank them.
On top of that, clearly tell the woman in front of you what you particularly like about her or what she does better than the others, so she feels reassured. Keep the allowance the same for everyone. Something along those lines, I guess?
You could also say: “Universe has been good to me, so I need to make offers and spend some money there from time to time, or the company might go under. They’ve recently started something like a PATOLO-style app-chasing business too, so they seem pretty desperate. It could seriously be bad. The guys answering questions keep saying things like, ‘I haven’t made any offers lately. Things are going well with the woman I’m seeing regularly,’ as if it’s no big deal. But those guys are actually like middle managers from the Showa era in a company—they’re the biggest burden of all. They constantly brag, make fun of prospective new male clients, and drive them away. I remind myself not to become like that.”
That works too.
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I don’t think people’s views are uniform enough to generalize by gender.
For reference, I’ve never been asked to be exclusive, perhaps because I tell them during our first dinner that I’m seeing other people as well. They’re fine with me doing whatever I want as long as it doesn’t negatively affect them.
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You can either build a deep, long-term relationship with an ordinary woman or date many women casually and superficially. Neither approach is wrong.
The latter is probably better for contributing to Universe Club and the economy.
You might be better suited to making offers to Black-class women who are popular and have lots of male supporters. I’m sure that can be fun in its own way.
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I think the women you meet feel unsatisfied because your mindset prioritizes quantity over quality.
You need to change both your mindset and your behavior to focus on quality over quantity, and substance over numbers—including your cleanliness, appearance, and overall vibe.
> Since it’s a dating club, men generally register because they want to enjoy themselves with lots of women.
Unless you change that mindset, what will come across from you isn’t the smell of a “dating club,” but of a “club for getting laid.”
> Do you want to keep enjoying relationships with more and more new women?
Or do you want to continue seeing one woman for years, meeting her at least once or twice a week?
What makes you happy is different for everyone. The club can make either option possible, so you simply have to live according to your own style.
Besides, now that you’re in your 50s, saying,
> I want to enjoy myself with lots of women
is far too late. That lack of experience—despite being an old man now—will only make women even less interested in you. Try to become, even little by little, a papa (a male supporter) who can fulfill women’s wishes.
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