What does it actually mean to have a distorted sense of money?

It’s not only women in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) whose sense of money gets distorted. The reason sex workers often can’t return to regular day jobs is also that their sense of money has become skewed. It’s a good thing that you’re earning ¥60,000–¥70,000 a month from your part-time job. But can you really cover your monthly living expenses with just that ¥60,000–¥70,000, without using any of your papa-katsu earnings? If you can put your papa-katsu allowance toward ¥2.5 million worth of cosmetic surgery, and invest or save everything else without touching it, then I don’t think your sense of money will become too distorted.

People will say you “seem like you have a messed-up sense of money” simply because, as a college student, you dress and carry yourself in a way that looks financially reckless. But you’re still the same person—put on a full Uniqlo outfit, and suddenly they’ll say, “You seem more sensible with money than you look.” Even if you work just as hard, if your results look bad on the surface, people say, “You’re going about it the wrong way.” But if your results are good, they say, “Everyone should follow that person’s example.” It’s ridiculously stupid. That’s just how the world is. Don’t let it get to you. I’ve even been told, “I’m good at judging people. You’re such a serious and honest person.” Generally, people do call me a serious person. But people out there make all kinds of assumptions and say whatever they want, even though they can’t see people clearly at all.

Rather than saying your sense of money gets distorted, I think it’s more accurate to say that it becomes different from other people’s. Because society uses the rather harsh word “distorted” to describe it, you probably end up feeling hurt. I also continue working a regular day job without relying on my papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) income, but even so, I’m aware that simply doing papa-katsu means my sense of money is different from other people’s. I mean, I can save several times more than people doing the same job, and while I hardly spend my own money, my papa (a male supporter) pays for everything. That’s not something most people would consider normal. The fact that I’m used to that lifestyle may itself make me seem “distorted” to others. No matter how hard I work at my day job, this gap can never be completely bridged. So I’ve accepted that there’s nothing I can do about it. I think it’s best for you to accept it too—in a good way. What do you think?

I’m Potassium, a female member. Having expensive things doesn’t necessarily mean your sense of money is out of touch. However, I do think the questioner’s sense of money is. I’ll answer based on the assumptions that papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) isn’t considered normal, and that you’re doing it for the money—which is usually why people ask questions like this. I think your sense of money is already out of balance when it comes to earning money. The reason is that you re-registered. You went back to a club you had already quit and decided to earn money through papa-katsu, rather than trying to make through your current part-time job what you had been earning through papa-katsu. Why is that? If you felt the compensation for your time was too low, then that makes it even more telling. And if you resumed papa-katsu because things ended with your papa (a male supporter), then your sense of money may also be out of balance when it comes to spending. Most people don’t do papa-katsu in the first place. Your sense of money is partly based on whether you can earn enough to support yourself and live your life. However, people who ask you questions like the one you posted are probably unconsciously asking based on their own sense of money. In other words, they’re asking whether your standards differ from what is generally considered normal. With that in mind, I think it would be useful to compare your spending habits with those of girls in circumstances most similar to yours who don’t do papa-katsu. If there’s a significant difference, then your sense of money is probably also out of line with what the people asking you these questions consider normal. That’s why it could be described as being out of balance—using the majority as the standard. If you want to judge it based only on your own previous standards, look at expenses you used to consider wasteful before starting papa-katsu. For example, maybe you didn’t take taxis before but do now, you buy extra snacks when you didn’t used to, or you used to set a limit for lunch but no longer do. The fact that you still have a part-time job and can find some kind of value in it feels like a good sign, because it can enrich you emotionally. But that’s separate from your sense of money. That’s just my personal opinion. It may be hard to explain, but I think those who understand will understand.

I think you’ll know once your income depends solely on your own skills and abilities. Akari

You probably can’t tell yet, because you’re still making money from it. Having a distorted sense of money means spending money even when you’re not earning enough. For example, if someone earns ¥150,000 a month but can’t keep their living expenses under ¥200,000, their sense of money is out of whack. You’ll know whether papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) has distorted your financial sense when you can no longer make money from it and your savings run out.

I don’t think that simply owning expensive things means someone has a warped sense of money. People who say that are often just envious or jealous of the person asking the question. That said, through the various people I’ve met via papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), there have been several moments when I thought, “This person really has no sense of money.” For example, we were talking about what we usually eat, and when I said, “I sometimes go to Yoshinoya,” the woman replied: “What? You don’t go to Yoshinoya, do you? (๑•ૅㅁ•๑)” Or when someone told me: “You’re rich, so around ¥100,000 for my English lessons is pocket change to you. I want you to pay for it!” Or when someone looked at my Van Cleef jewelry and said: “Even if you call it Van Cleef, this is only a little over ¥200,000, right? …Cheap.” And so on. I don’t think owning luxury items, spending money on cosmetic procedures, or saving money is, in itself, a sign of having a warped sense of money. But based on some women’s words and actions, I do quite often think, “Wow, their sense of money is really off.” Hope that helps.