I’d rather not name the STI because I don’t want to be identified by the sugar babies reading this, but I’ve come down with a mild one.

If you’ve contracted an STI, as everyone has said, it’s important to get tested and treated, and to inform everyone involved so you don’t spread it further. I assume you’ve already contacted everyone concerned, but this is the absolute basics, so please make sure you follow through properly. That said, since the person infected is still in their 40s, the female nurses at the hospital will probably just think, “Oh, so you’re quite active, huh? (lol).” But when you’re getting to be an old man like me, they’ll probably think, “Oh my—despite being an old man, he must have gotten involved with a young woman…” It’s extremely embarrassing (lol). I don’t think STIs are that common among members, but they’re not nonexistent either, so let’s all be careful.

I’m extremely soft-hearted when it comes to the women I date, so even if I weren’t the source of the infection, I’d probably cover both the testing and treatment costs. For now, although opinions may vary, I think you should tell all the women you’re seeing that you’ve been infected.

>There’s a woman who comes to mind, but she’s seeing multiple people, so I can’t be absolutely sure it was her. Yes, if you’re not certain, I think it’s safest to assume it wasn’t her. If you’re wrong, this won’t simply be a case of you misunderstanding the situation—it could make you look like a truly awful person. >Should I tell her? From the way you’ve described it, it sounds like you want to imply that she was infected by you. But as I said above, I don’t think it’s right to hurt someone by making an accusation you’re not certain about. As others have mentioned, the normal thing would be to tell every woman you’re seeing. And I’d like to see you be generous enough to cover at least the cost of testing for all of them. This isn’t just about apologizing—it could ultimately benefit you as well. In fact, even when nothing has happened, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to say something like, “Why don’t we both get tested? I’ll cover the cost.” You could also get the Partners Check that Universe promotes. Even doing just that would make quite a difference. That said, what exactly is a “mild” STI? Ureaplasma, maybe? >I think if I were a woman, I’d rewrite my memory of the situation as, “He paid for my test, which means he was actually the one who infected me and I was the victim.” It’s true that people’s memories can be rewritten that way. But even if you do nothing, simply telling them could lead them to remember it as, “He was actually the one who infected me and I was the victim.” Whether you pay for the testing or not, they may end up thinking the same thing. You often hear people say, just like the questioner here, that they were infected by someone else and didn’t infect anyone themselves. But anyone who was infected by someone may then have infected other people. In this case, there’s a good chance the questioner infected others before realizing he was sick. He may have been infected by one person, but gone on to infect seven others. When you think about it that way, it’s impossible to know anymore who was the perpetrator and who was the victim. So even if someone insists, “I wasn’t the one who infected anyone,” most people will probably think, “What is this person even talking about?” That’s why, even if you weren’t the one who infected them, covering the cost of their tests is a matter of generosity and character. Even if the other person’s memory gets rewritten, loving the women enough to accept that possibility is something only a truly big-hearted person can do. Of course, after you pay, their memory might still change, they might come to resent you, and the relationship might end. But a big-hearted person would do it without thinking in terms of profit and loss—if you loved these women, you’d go that far for them. That said, not wanting to do something that puts you at a disadvantage is a perfectly normal way to feel. I also understand not wanting to be resented later because someone’s memory changed. It’s a difficult situation. Still, it makes you want to say: “Then please, wear a condom properly so this doesn’t happen.” >Since there seem to be some unbelievable male members, I think men should have to pass a test before they’re allowed to make offers. Before the test, they could attend training, then take a confirmation test afterward, followed by another test every six months. That might work well, but Universe would probably collapse from the backlash among its members. Still, if they created a separate high-end dating club and forcibly expelled unbelievable men one after another, they could create a club with only good members. If it were a club limited to carefully selected members, I think it would be perfectly reasonable to test people before admitting them.

Of course, you need to let her know. Even if you get treated, if she doesn’t, you could pass the infection back and forth.

What would you call a “mild” STD? If you think about it normally, probably gonorrhea or chlamydia. I don’t think that would be enough to identify anyone, though… By the way, I agree with Mac-san: I think all women should be notified, but I can’t agree with covering their testing or treatment costs. As long as we’re all involved in this kind of activity, both men and women need to accept that it goes both ways.

Of course, everyone involved should be informed, but I don’t think the person asking the question needs to cover the cost of everyone’s tests or treatment. It doesn’t make sense to pay when we don’t even know who the source was. And if you go out of your way to pay, it almost looks like you’re apologizing by admitting that you were the one who passed it on. That’s ridiculous. You need to draw a clear line when it comes to things like this. Also, with questions like this, I feel it’s better to respond kindly and gently rather than scolding them, since the person asking is probably already feeling down. Maybe I’m being too soft? If the person asking is married, please apologize to his wife as well and have her get tested and treated. If he’s single, then no issue. As someone else involved in papa-katsu, I’m rooting for you. Hang in there. If you’re unsure what to do again, feel free to ask. > And I’d like you to show enough generosity to give everyone at least the cost of their tests. This isn’t an apology; in the long run, it’s also for your own benefit. If I were one of the women, I think I’d gradually rewrite my memory as: “He paid for my test, which means the person asking was actually the source of the infection, and I was the victim.” Not immediately, but over the course of several months or years. It wouldn’t lead to gratitude, and it certainly wouldn’t become a story about what a big-hearted person he is. It’s like the whole “apology and compensation to Korea” argument. Anyway, this isn’t about the money. You really need to be careful about doing something that could make it seem as though you were the perpetrator. Even if the other person is a good person, memories are easily rewritten. In that sense, you shouldn’t trust other people—and you probably shouldn’t overestimate your own reliability either. More than half of what we remember about our own past is based on assumptions.

If you’re seeing multiple people, there’s also a possibility that you were the one who passed it on to the person asking the question. Don’t act like you’re the only victim. Why not inform everyone involved and cover everyone’s medical expenses? Akari

If you contract an STI, I believe you should inform every person you’re seeing, because you may have passed it on to them. It’s important, so I’ll say it again: if you contract an STI, you should inform **all** of your partners—not just that one girl. You’re not some immature kid, so is everything all right in your head? To Mr. Maezawa: Apparently there are some male members who are unbelievable, so I think men should have to pass a test before they’re allowed to make an offer. These days, even car-sharing services require users to take a test.