I’m always approached by strange people.

It does happen fairly often. But once you learn to ignore it, you won’t hear it at all or give it any attention. Just cut them off firmly by saying, “Thanks, but I’m sorry—I don’t like you.” People like this won’t take the hint unless you’re direct.

Was it through picking someone up, a dating app, or something like that? I guess people take advantage when they see an opening. But if you don’t show any vulnerability, it can be hard to attract anyone—lots of men like women who seem approachable. If someone gets too pushy, turn them down. And if they seem like a hassle, just cut things off right away instead of trying to reach an understanding. That should be fine.

I’ll answer on the assumption that this is about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). I think the conversation stops clicking because you respond with things like “You’re handsome” even when you don’t actually mean them. To be blunt, this reflects the questioner’s poor communication skills. The man you’re seeing also seems to have difficulties with communication, but since he’s the one providing the allowance, if you want to keep him engaged over dinner, you need to entertain him. If you don’t want to do that, just say, “Let’s go to a hotel for now,” get the allowance for an adult relationship (intimate), and call it a day. There are plenty of strange people, even among the financially well-off. You’ve probably heard that quite a few famous people around the world are said to have Asperger’s syndrome, right?

Female member Potassium here. Is this even related to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)? I’m taking it as being approached by strangers in the city or out in the countryside... Anyway, after reading some of the recent questions, I’ve noticed that quite a few people seem to be looking for agreement or sympathy more than actual answers. So I started wondering whether it’s a bad idea to seriously state my opinion. That said, here are my personal takes below—please choose whichever answer you prefer. ① My take from a sympathetic perspective ② My take from an “I agree” perspective ③ My blunt thoughts and personal take ① That sounds rough! But maybe, in a way, it’s proof that you’re attractive enough for even strange people to notice you. Precisely because they’re strange, people who aren’t on your level may feel confident enough to approach you. Please be careful around weirdos, and I hope that, with your wonderful charm, you’ll be approached by—or meet—some truly wonderful people. ② Oh, that happens to me all the time too. Once, I was sitting in an unreserved seat on the Shinkansen when a young man suddenly started talking to me. My first thought was, “Is this guy seriously trying to pick someone up on a bullet train? What a creep.” But as we talked, it turned out he was actually a doctor, and we got caught up discussing surgery. We exchanged LINE contacts, and later he came to pick me up in a Maserati, and we went out to dinner. Another time, I was riding a regular train when a strange man approached me. I couldn’t change seats, and I felt sorry for him, so I spoke with him. In the end, he told me why he had approached me. He said he liked my looks right away, and after talking to me, he liked me even more, so he wanted to keep seeing me and asked if we could exchange LINE contacts. There are plenty of other strange men who approach me too〜 It really is such a hassle, isn’t it...? Maybe it’s my fault for responding too kindly, or for making them think I might be interested...? I guess women really do get approached by a certain number of people like that. ③ I don’t know whether it’s common or not, but if you keep ending up in situations like that, there may be something about your own behavior that’s contributing to it. That said, I’m not sure how knowing whether it’s “common” would change anything for you. If you’re asking because you want to change something, it’s difficult to answer unless you clarify that part. Yes. Anyway, I’ve shared three different takes. If none of them were what you wanted, then I simply misunderstood your question, so don’t worry about it—just think, “Wow, what a painful person.” That was my personal take.

You may be giving off an aura that makes unusual people feel comfortable approaching you—like you’d follow them along easily if they complimented you even a little. You don’t need to look at or listen to someone you’re not interested in. Just ignore them firmly. If you give them even the slightest attention, you’ll only make them think they might have a chance, which isn’t fair to either of you.

I don’t think you need to go out of your way to flatter him with obvious lies. Simply saying something like, “You’re kind and easygoing, so I feel relaxed when I’m with you,” is more than enough. You don’t even have to say that if you don’t want to. Since this is probably a date you’re not really looking forward to for various reasons, at least try to make it a stress-free time. Akari

It’s really nothing major. If you ask me, it’s pretty common. Rather than being a strange person, aren’t guys who hit on women all pretty persistent? And even if someone tells you you’re beautiful, there’s no need to compliment someone who isn’t even attractive. Once you think about how to deal with it, you can get through it without stressing. Marika

Who knows? Whether it’s common or unusual, I don’t think it changes anything about your everyday life. As an aside, I think you should look up what “食い下がる” means.