I’m the person who previously asked about receiving a message from a man that was essentially “Go die.”

Are you okay? (´･ ･`) The anger gradually turns into sadness, doesn’t it? I’m on a diet, so I can’t go on a huge shopping spree… Hmm. Maybe sleep a lot or go sing karaoke like crazy! Or since it’s autumn, I might immerse myself in movies or novels.

When things aren’t going well in both your personal life and work, it can feel overwhelming when it all piles up… When things aren’t going well, I reflect on myself—looking back at things I said or did and considering whether I handled anything poorly. Since I don’t think we can change other people, I try to focus on changing my own behavior. Especially at work, results are expected, so I ask for help from the people around me so I can grow—by reviewing what I’ve learned or consulting my supervisor. I also try to put care into my work, even when it’s something small. As for ways to refresh my mood, I like doing something I can really focus on, such as reading, playing games, watching movies, playing sports, or practicing calligraphy or penmanship. Since I’m focused on that activity, I can forget about the things that are weighing on me! I also recommend tidying up and organizing your surroundings. When your mind is unsettled, for some reason, your surroundings tend to become messy too… Start by cleaning up around you and getting things into a neat state. It might help you feel a little more positive, haha. Don’t push yourself too hard. It may feel a little easier if you can think that perhaps this pain is something you’ve been given so that, someday, you can understand someone else’s pain.

It’s good that you were able to cut ties with someone who would hurl abuse at a woman decades younger than him. That said, words can cut deeper than a sword and wound your heart, so I’m sure it must be painful. I’ve also had a man who wanted me to treat him as someone special send me a LINE message that was three pages long. When that happens, I don’t bottle it up. I just cry and let the sadness out, then have another kind papa comfort me. When things aren’t going well at work, I start by reflecting on what happened and analyzing myself. My heart still feels raw, but I ask myself things like, “If confronting it head-on didn’t work, is there another way around it?” or “What if I look at it from a little farther away?” When I broaden my perspective, my thoughts start flowing again and I gradually feel lighter. I take a long, relaxing bath, flop down on my bed, and sometimes start by letting my body relax. I love immersing myself in nature, so I also go to the mountains or play golf. I hope your heart gradually heals and you’re able to move forward again, little by little. Akari

That sounds really tough… > When things keep going wrong, both in my personal life and at work, how do you reset your mindset? This probably won’t be helpful, and I don’t want you to take it as advice, but I believe I’m responsible for everything that happens to me and that the fault is mine. So I look in the mirror, blame myself for not being good enough, and tell myself: “I’m not capable enough.” “I haven’t worked hard enough.” That’s how I reset my mindset. I was born Japanese and with a healthy body, so from there on, it all comes down to my own effort. I don’t blame other people. That said, I’m still feeling unsettled inside. I am, but if I had overwhelming ability, I could solve everything. Let me say this again: since you’re a woman, questioner, please do not use me as a reference under any circumstances.