I started seeing a Black-class woman with a fairly generous allowance, but after about three months, I’ve started to feel that it may be difficult to continue at the current allowance. (The reason is that I forced myself to agree to an amount outside my papa-katsu budget, and I regret that.)
While I feel that we may have to part ways, she is an attractive woman, so if the allowance could be reduced a little, I also feel that continuing might be possible.
Specifically, I currently pay 120,000 yen per meeting, but I think I could continue if it were reduced to around 80,000 yen.
Would it be better to quietly fade out rather than bring up lowering the allowance and risk making her uncomfortable?
Or would it be acceptable from a woman’s perspective if I explained the situation, just in case?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂Not stated👑Universe male member
I’ve said this a few times on this Q&A site, but I’m in favor of reducing the allowance.
That’s not because of anything about me personally—I just think it’s better for the woman if she’s comfortable with it.
P.S.
After only three months together, it does seem a little early.
I generally have arrangements that last for years, and I didn’t reduce the allowance until after we’d been seeing each other for over three years.
Well, I guess I shouldn’t have tried to look cool by offering an allowance beyond what I could really afford this time（笑).
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That’s a challenge to negotiate a lower allowance.
It’ll probably be a tougher negotiation than actually dating him, but let’s take on the challenge—including Flag’s suggestion, lol.
If you pull it off, let’s go grab drinks, lol.
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12… is that considered pretty high?
She must be attractive, right?
If paying that much in allowance is difficult, just offer around 8 instead. Are you saying the questioner is a creepy person if he doesn’t pay at least that much?
I’m sure there are women who would accept 8. With so many women out there, why be so fixated on her?
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You’re able to quantify it by saying that 12 is too much, but 8 would be acceptable. That’s impressive.
I wouldn’t want to ask her to lower the allowance, so in your position, I’d probably reduce the three meetings we’ve had so far to two.
That said, I can’t quantify how much I like a woman, so if I felt the arrangement wasn’t worth it, I’d simply stop making plans to meet again, and the relationship would probably end there.
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12 for a Black-level woman is fairly standard, or perhaps just slightly on the high side.
Universe doesn’t currently mention allowances, but apparently they used to advise that the allowance should be the same as the setting fee.
So for a Black-level woman, an allowance of 10 is considered standard, since the setting fee is 10. I imagine allowances at other dating clubs also tend to settle around that amount.
(At other dating clubs, it’s normal to know the allowance amount before making an offer.)
If she was a premium-priced Black-level woman whose setting fee was 12, then a pay-per-meeting allowance of 12 would also be fairly standard.
As for your situation, if the proposal is to lower it to 8, I think it would be best to part ways cleanly.
However, if you would like to settle on 10, you could explain your circumstances and ask her—fully expecting that she might say no—whether she would be willing to continue at 10.
Even if she turns you down, I think you’d be able to accept that you tried.
> Would this be okay from the woman’s perspective?
Basically, she’ll probably be disappointed and may feel that you only valued her to that extent.
But if she already thought you were a good person based on your relationship so far, she may still agree.
In that sense, this may also be a moment that tests the relationship you’ve built up until now.
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How often do you meet each month?
If you’re meeting several times a month, I think it would be better to reduce the frequency rather than the allowance.
If it’s 12 per pay-per-meeting and once a month, then you can’t really reduce the number of meetings any further. Maybe once every two months…
Personally, I don’t think it’s all about the money. I’d certainly appreciate it if someone increased an amount we’d already agreed on! But if they asked whether they could reduce it, I wouldn’t feel good about that.
If I were told, “I’d like to reduce the allowance because I haven’t been meeting your expectations,” I’d try to fix whatever I was doing wrong. If it couldn’t be fixed, I’d understand that a reduction might be unavoidable—but honestly, I probably wouldn’t feel very motivated afterward.
On the other hand, if they simply said the amount was too high and difficult for them to keep paying, I’d probably say, “I understand. I hope we can both find someone who’s a better fit.” I know how difficult it can be to maintain an arrangement, so I think the best relationship is one where neither person is overextending themselves.
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Personally, I’d offer to lower the allowance and choose to be cut down head-on and die. And just to be clear, I’m doing it for myself—not for the woman.
First, getting cut down teaches you your place and makes you more humble. It also helps you treat your family better.
Then you can drink while swapping stories about how you got rejected, and pour your heart into singing breakup songs at karaoke.
And before you know it, you’ve gained more depth as a person. Probably.
In other words, getting dumped in spectacular fashion actually has plenty of benefits. I recommend offering to lower the allowance.
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“Quite high”?? Don’t get my hopes up.
Why on earth is 12 considered “quite high”?? It’s high, sure, but not *that* high. If you’re going to qualify it, “a little” would be more accurate.
Dating is about both people wanting to treat each other well.
Just give up and quietly fade out.
> An attractive woman
If you want to land one, you need to work harder—at your job or in other areas—to become more attractive yourself. Whether it’s your allowance or anything else, hone your strengths until you’re confident they can outshine the competition.
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