My friend married a TV announcer, and I’m so damn jealous. I’m thinking of breaking up with my airline stewardess girlfriend and finding a moderately well-known actress or TV announcer myself. Would I find someone like that at a newly opened club?

I’m Saito, the column writer♪ A lot of you have asked me to post a column about the new club as soon as possible, but while reading this question, I found myself wondering how much I’d actually be able to write after meeting the women in person. I used to write a blog, but eventually I started meeting women who were actresses, TV announcers, and the like—women I could hardly write about at all. In the end, I couldn’t even share the smallest details on my blog. Because it could cause trouble for the women. I also became constantly worried that if we were found out, we’d have no choice but to end things. Traveling together is simply too risky. Going for a drive would be an act of suicide. Even dining out requires booking out the entire restaurant. I don’t use taxis either. The restaurant needs to have a back exit, and at hotels, I have them arrange an elevator near a private entrance. Even after making all these arrangements, people start to let their guard down as time passes. That’s when tip-offs start coming in. A dating club is like an adventure, so I encourage you to join one and experience it for yourself. You’ll even get to find out whether you can honestly think, “I’ll become a member and share some information here.” Sorry if that sounded condescending. By the way, I haven’t arranged a meeting at the new club yet either, so I don’t even know whether the women are there or not. I’m getting nervous.