I received an offer from a male member and went out for a meal, but the venue was a sushi counter inside a hotel. With people sitting directly in front of us and on either side, I felt very uncomfortable discussing things like “papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan),” “adult relationship (intimate),” and “allowance” out in the open.

Question

So my question is: When male members choose a venue for a first date, do they not mind if conversations like that can be overheard? Also, female members, have you ever received similar offers from male members?

Answer 1

In my case, if there’s a significant age gap or I want to have a slightly risqué conversation, I choose a private or semi-private room. I also sometimes go to hotel buffets, which tend to be relatively open and public. But in the first place, I probably wouldn’t use terms like papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), adult relationship (intimate), or allowance. That papa (a male supporter) probably isn’t too concerned about people around him finding out about what he’s doing. The more you feel that it would be a problem if people found out about you, the more cautious the men tend to be as well.

Answer 2

You ended up with an insensitive papa who really can’t read the room. If you’re asking whether they exist or not, there are probably a few. Don’t papas realize that being inconsiderate lowers their success rate—meaning their “sex rate”?

Answer 3

The other day, while I was out with my daughter, she kept calling me “Dad, Dad,” and even got so close that our bodies were touching… While we were walking, buying tickets, getting popcorn, and buying the program, she stayed incredibly close. I couldn’t help wondering what people around us thought—“Do they think this is papa-katsu?” She usually calls me things like “fossil,” “great-grandpa,” or “creepy,” so I was genuinely surprised by how close she was while we were out. It was a day out with my now-grown daughter, but I’m even less used to that than papa-katsu, so I found myself worrying about how we looked to others. (I don’t feel self-conscious at all about going out here and there with women in their twenties…) Going out with my daughter made me realize that just using the word “Dad” makes it clear that we’re parent and child, so it really isn’t that strange after all. We never use words like “adult relationship” or “allowance.” Of course, I’ve never been called “Dad” by any of the women from the club, and I don’t use it either. We don’t have those kinds of conversations while eating, so on first meetings I often choose counter seating. I find it easier to talk sitting side by side than across from each other, so I usually prefer a counter. At a counter, you can even talk without the people around you hearing, so any man who makes others uncomfortable like that would be completely out of the question.

Answer 4

I’ve never come across someone like that… A lack of consideration is also something to take into account, so I think it’s best to move on.

Answer 5

For the first meeting, I only choose private rooms. Naturally, I stop talking whenever the staff comes over. It may be worth considering this when deciding, since it makes you wonder what the relationship would be like going forward. And if they get older, lose their hearing, and start speaking loudly, that would be absolutely unbearable.

Answer 6

There’s really no place to discuss papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), adult relationships (intimate), or allowances except in a private room. I’m the one who feels embarrassed. People probably think, “He’s that old and still acting like that?” …lol

Answer 7

I don’t use words like “papa,” “allowance,” or “hotel,” even in a private room. I find different ways to get my point across, and before long, the woman starts giggling and relaxing. Her wariness—and her inner thighs—gradually loosen up. Still, thanks to all the incredibly stupid papas you’ve met, things are easy for me. All I have to do is do nothing, so business is booming.

Answer 8

Since you’ll both probably have questions, I choose restaurants with private or semi-private rooms. Some women I’ve dated have told me they disliked being asked about the allowance at places like teppanyaki restaurants or hotel lounges.

Answer 9

For counter-style sushi or teppanyaki at a hotel: You can use hand gestures under the table without anyone noticing. Every now and then, you come across someone with absolutely no tact, but if you’re sitting side by side, I think whispering in their ear is an option too.

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