Should I ask my papa (a male supporter) when his birthday is? We’ve been seeing each other for over a year, and I’ve completely forgotten to ask.
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He bought me a birthday present (I was the one who told him my birthday), but I don’t know his birthday.
Does he think I’m self-centered for letting him celebrate only my birthday?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
In the end, I only ask my favorite papa and the papa I like for their birthdays and give them presents. The others don’t ask me either, and I don’t celebrate their birthdays.
Marika
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> Do you think I’m being seen as selfish because I’m the only one getting celebrated?
I don’t think so.
Most men are already at an age where they probably feel like, “I don’t really need to be celebrated anymore.” Of course, they’d still be happy if you did celebrate them, but they may also have mixed feelings, like, “Are we really celebrating getting older?”
So I think something in return on occasions like Christmas or Valentine’s Day would be perfectly fine.
That said, some men may appreciate having their birthday celebrated, so it might be worth casually asking when their birthday is.
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They already thought you were self-centered a long time ago—probably from the very first meeting.
But since the relationship has lasted over a year, it’s probably not an issue.
The real problem is asking a question like this without thinking for yourself. Would that be too harsh to say?
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When your papa celebrated your birthday, you didn’t ask when his birthday was… I would’ve been curious and asked.
Whether you give him a present or not is up to you, but I think you should at least say, “Happy birthday.”
I don’t know if he’d think you were self-centered, but he might privately feel that you’re not really interested in him.
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Potassium here, female member.
That’s a pretty difficult question...
In my case, the subject of my birthday came up, and I asked my papa about his birthday too. So if you forgot to ask, it might be awkward.
Even if your papa doesn’t think you’re being self-centered, he might still feel a little lonely—or compare himself to other women he supports—and that worries me...
If it were me, I’d ask my papa even now!
As an aside, this reminded me of Cheburashka. A Russian friend once told me that, traditionally in Russia, people give the birthday person gifts because everyone helped raise them until they reached that age.
Cheburashka, seriously? LOL
So if you followed that tradition, maybe you actually shouldn’t ask about his birthday.
But this isn’t Russia, is it?
I got carried away. That’s just what I would do.
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Most of my papas say they don’t need presents or anything, so I keep their birthday celebrations simple—but I do make sure to at least wish them a happy birthday.
Come to think of it, my own birthday hasn’t really been celebrated much either… I like being celebrated, so it made me feel a little lonely (lol).
If you want to find out your papa’s birthday, try asking casually by saying something like, “I was celebrating a friend’s birthday the other day…” and use that as an excuse to bring it up!
Also, if he’s registered on LINE Gifts, you may be able to find out without asking!
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I think it depends on the relationship.
If you’re messaging a woman almost every day and seeing her once a week, the man might feel a little lonely if she doesn’t ask.
But in a relationship like mine, where we don’t usually keep in touch and only meet about once a month, neither of us really asks about the other’s birthday.
If I happened to find out her birthday through LINE, I might send her a Starbucks gift card through LINE Gift, though.
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Everyone has their own opinion, so I can’t say for sure.
I don’t expect anything in particular, so I don’t think you need to ask. That said, when the topic of a woman’s birthday comes up, she’ll usually ask for mine in return and do something to celebrate it.
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All the girls I’ve been in long-term relationships with have always asked me about it.
I think even just getting some words of congratulations would make her happy, so there’s no harm in asking, even at this point. On the other hand, if you’ve been seeing each other for over a year, maybe you don’t necessarily need to ask.
In my case, I wouldn’t think you were being selfish, but I might feel a little lonely.
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