Is it okay to tell my papa that I’d like him to cover my beauty expenses?
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This was discussed online before, but women are expected to put a lot of effort into their appearance, and it inevitably costs money.
I keep track of my household expenses, but the reality is that the amount I spend on beauty-related things, such as salon visits and various other expenses, keeps increasing whether I like it or not.
I’ve thought about the benefits for both me (on the PJ side) and my papa when it comes to having him cover my beauty expenses, so I wrote them down below.
【Benefits for me (the PJ)】
・I can become even more polished and attractive than I am now
・I can invest in myself and make an effort in other areas
・Since he would be covering an everyday living expense, I’d grow even more fond of the papa who supports me
【Benefits for the papa】
・I would treat him as a top-tier supporter and become more attached to him
・He could experience, in a sense, a Pretty Woman-style fantasy of making a girl prettier with his own support
For example, hair removal can be expensive, but it’s practically expected nowadays.
Personally, I’m in the “isn’t it fine if there’s some body hair?” camp, but some people find it off-putting when it comes to spending time together. In those cases, I’d like to receive beauty money as an investment of sorts.
Also, although I make a reasonable effort in front of my papa (it’s not that I dislike beauty treatments), I proposed this because I want him to understand that maintaining a “basic level of feminine beauty” costs money.
I’d appreciate any advice on the proposal itself or on how to bring it up with him.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Member of another dating club
Not for me.
If I liked someone, I’d be the one offering to pay for their beauty treatments, so I don’t think the person asking this question is someone he feels that way about.
Just as that papa isn’t your first choice, you may not be his first choice either.
Rather than looking for a clever way to bring it up, I think you should focus on how to become someone he genuinely likes.
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It’s not really appropriate for the woman to bring it up herself.
If she feels comfortable enough to talk openly about things like beauty expenses, on top of the allowance, then she must be pretty experienced with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
>・Being treated as a top choice and being liked
Only a woman who thinks that way—and who’s saying it to a man she wouldn’t care about losing anyway—could say something like that.
I do enjoy playing Pretty Woman, but I’m starting to lose the motivation to keep writing answers...
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“Wouldn’t it be better to use the allowance I give you for beauty treatments?”
Papas like me, who aren’t particularly interested in beauty, tend to think that way.
You’re free to spend the allowance however you want…
If you want me to increase it, you need to meet more often.
In the end, it just came across as wanting more money without putting in any extra effort.
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It’s true that you can spend a lot of money on beauty and fashion if you want to. But I don’t feel like those are things you should bring up yourself.
Before I started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I bought my makeup at drugstores, and I had never gotten my nails or eyelash extensions done.
After meeting my current papa (a male supporter), I started wanting to become a little more attractive as a woman, so I began using some of my allowance for beauty treatments.
Then one day, he told me I looked prettier than before. I told him that thanks to him, I’d been able to experience this and that, and that I was grateful.
After that, he offered to pay for things like salon treatments, clothes, lingerie, and makeup. I was genuinely surprised—I never thought of it as something I was entitled to. I do feel that if I had asked for those things myself, the outcome might have been different.
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Any woman who asks for something other than cash is an immediate deal-breaker for me. There have been times when I’ve voluntarily given a little extra when the conversation naturally led that way, though.
That’s why negotiating the allowance amount upfront is the most important part.
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It’s in your best interest not to keep talking about money.
The trick is to subtly steer the conversation toward beauty and self-care.
While chatting, get him to suggest something like, “Why don’t you get your nails done?” Once you do that, you’re in.
Never, ever keep talking about money—that’s the key to avoiding being dropped.
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Men’s opinions vary from person to person, and I don’t know how this particular man feels about you, either.
After reading your question, I’ll share my thoughts focusing only on the benefits for the papa.
>・Being treated as a top-tier woman and being liked
So you’re not top-tier at the moment, then.
It seems more worthwhile to give money to a woman who has already placed me in her top tier.
I understand that affection can’t be quantified, but please present the benefits as specifically as possible.
>・Being able to make a girl more attractive with my own hands—having a kind of Pretty Woman experience
Simply paying for something isn’t “with my own hands.” And if I’m paying, does that mean she’ll become the kind of woman I like?
In Pretty Woman, Lewis did shape her into his ideal woman, after all.
>For example, hair removal can be expensive, but it’s considered normal these days.
I agree that hair removal is commonplace nowadays, but most women cover the cost themselves with their own earnings.
I don’t mind paying for it, but please make the benefit to the person paying clear.
Personally, I think I’d only consider it if a woman hinted at something amazing—something I’d never asked for before—and then asked me to pay.
If she’s a woman I see primarily for sex, I’d have less resistance to resolving things with money. But if she’s someone I’m dating because I genuinely like her personality, it would feel too much like buying her, and I think I’d find that uncomfortable.
If a woman I liked for her personality approached me with that kind of transaction, I think I’d lose a considerable amount of interest in her.
A follow-up after reading Potassium’s P.S.:
Exactly. If you’re going to approach it logically, you need to work through the logic more thoroughly, or it will end up making both sides uncomfortable.
If you’re going to approach it emotionally, then the woman needs to invest in and cultivate her papa’s feelings for her, so that he’ll be willing to pay without feeling anything is off.
I think women who are smart and know how to navigate life do exactly that.
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I know better than anyone how expensive it is because I put a lot of effort into looking “clean and well-groomed”—my appearance, scent, and all the beauty treatments I get.
Of course, I’ve had full-body medical hair removal, dark-spot removal, and cosmetic procedures. Dental work in particular gets expensive, doesn’t it? My teeth will probably take another two years, and I still have about ¥2 million left to pay just for that.
Because I understand better than anyone how much all this costs, I’ll pay for beauty treatments for a girl I really like before she even asks.
But if she asks me directly, I won’t pay.
PJ girl:
“Wait, really? Seriously? Full-body medical hair removal can cost like ¥600,000, you know. Are you really going to pay for it?”
Loser guy:
“Of course. I want you to become even cuter and more beautiful. I’ll pay separately from your allowance, so don’t worry.”
PJ girl:
“I’m so happy ♡”
Papa (a male supporter) types are satisfied with this little charade.
If she asks outright, the whole performance disappears, and it’s no fun anymore—so I won’t pay.
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I’m Potassium. I’m a female member.
Beauty expenses really do add up, don’t they... I get it.
I think it’s worth talking to your papa about it.
That said, it depends on your relationship with him. If he’s a papa who genuinely supports you, you could frame it as, “I want to become this kind of person!” Or, if he feels that being with you benefits him, you might explain what benefits he gets from it too.... You may want to think carefully about how you approach the conversation.
*Though a man’s perspective would probably be more reliable on this point.*
You’ll want to make sure it doesn’t sound like a strange request or as though the allowance you’re already receiving isn’t enough. I also think it would help him understand if you explain how you’re using the allowance you currently receive.
I often tell my papa what I use the allowance for—masseter Botox, cosmetics, and so on—and how it has changed my life.
That’s just my personal opinion, though...
P.S.
After reading Kazu’s comment, I started thinking that if you frame things too transactionally in terms of “benefits,” it might end up going in a bad direction. So maybe appealing to his emotions would actually be more effective!?
I’ll keep doing my best too (*•̀ㅂ•́)و✧
I’m going to become a smart woman who knows how to navigate life!
Papa, I know you’re reading this, so be prepared♡
I learn a lot from the other respondents’ opinions.
Thank you.
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The way you bring it up depends on your relationship with your papa. Some papas will dislike being asked to pay for beauty treatments, no matter how lovely the girl is, while others will say, “Sure, sure!” Some may even be willing to pay depending on how you approach it, so it’s important to read the situation.
That said, the safest approach is probably:
⑴ Show him that you’re working hard at your job or studies—not just on your appearance—and then tell him you treated yourself to a beauty service “as a reward,” using money from your papa (your regular allowance, not money specifically given for beauty expenses).
⑵ Show how happy you are by saying something like, “The treatment at the salon you sent me to last time was amazing! Look—my hair is so smooth now!”
⑶ Then have your papa offer to pay by saying, “You should go again.”
The key is not to simply ask for something, but to show that you’re making an effort in other areas too, creating the feeling that it’s a “reward.”
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