I have several offers overlapping, so I don’t have much time and would like to prioritize the one offering ¥10,000. Would it be okay to ask him directly through Letter Date?
Also, is about an hour over tea too short for a first meeting? Two hours for ¥5,000 isn’t even realistic on dating apps.
Did you listen to the club’s explanation?
If I remember correctly, you’re supposed to set aside four hours for the first date, and transportation is usually ¥5,000–¥10,000.
The men are already paying a high registration fee, on top of covering the cost of the date, you know? The men I met spent tens of thousands of yen on dinner, and none of them gave only ¥5,000 for transportation.
They even took me to another lovely place after dinner so I could enjoy the date more…
If that kind of companionship feels like a hassle and all you’re thinking about is how much money you can get, I don’t think a dating club is right for you.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking about the allowance for the first meeting, but they may decide they don’t want to meet someone who asks that.
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I’m a female member, Potassium.
That’s quite a way of thinking...
If you want to prioritize cost-effectiveness, then I suppose you should. And if you’re doing letter dates, you should discuss the allowance early to avoid wasting each other’s time, then quickly cut off anyone who doesn’t meet your terms.
The following is just my personal opinion.
You have so many offers that you can’t even handle them all, yet you still calculate your hourly rate and complain that it’s too little or whatever...
But could you really earn that much yourself through a regular job, without receiving money from a papa?
The money papas pay is money they earned by investing their own time, money, and effort into something...
I was honestly shocked that you seem to have no respect for that money—or for the papas who worked to earn it. Are papas nothing more than pieces of paper and numbers on an offer list to you...?
After reading Ayase-san’s comment, I can understand why people say that. In the question box, it’s mostly women in their twenties constantly talking about money and writing posts that revolve almost entirely around money. Thank you for pointing out something important. (I wish the money-minded women would read this....)
Just my thoughts and personal opinion.
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It’s entirely up to you whether you ask.
That said, the more decent men will probably say goodbye and leave you a low rating if you make that proposal.
You probably don’t need to worry—offers will likely stop coming in before long anyway.
If you prefer to treat this like an hourly job, you’d probably be better off looking on Twitter or dating apps.
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There are no allowance rules on the app—those are rules limited to you, aren’t they?
This is Universe Club, and Universe has its own rules. Please set aside four hours for the first date. Travel expenses are ¥5,000–¥10,000.
You’re being way too money-focused. If that’s what you want, take it up with the app.
It’s because there are people in their twenties who say things like this that young women tend to be labeled as money-focused.
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It’s perfectly fine to ask.
Tell him upfront, “For the first meeting, I’d like to keep it to about an hour over tea, with a 10,000-yen allowance for transportation.”
If he offers 5,000 yen, just reply, “That’s way too low—I can’t do that!”
Since this is a matching process, I think it’s better to communicate your expectations from the start so neither of you wastes time.
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For regular offer dates, the rule is a minimum of ¥5,000 for two hours. Since letter dates are free-form, I think it’s perfectly fine to ask.
If you’re getting lots of offers and don’t have much time, just filter them. Keep the promising ones that seem like they could pay ¥100,000 or more per meeting. The transportation money for the first meeting is just a feeler, so any amount is fine.
Personally, I’d ask for ¥10,000 in transportation money for the first two-hour meeting.
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For a first date, I usually spend two hours over a meal and give her ¥20,000–¥30,000. That said, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll have a longer-lasting relationship with the asker than a papa who gives ¥5,000 for two hours.
Also, I wouldn’t recommend negotiating the price through a “text date.”
Imagine becoming friendly with a handsome classmate and deciding to go on your first date, only for him to ask:
“By the way, will our date be one hour, or do you need two?”
Wouldn’t that be a turnoff?
Asking about transportation money through a text date gives off a similar impression, so it’s better not to.
That said, I do agree that I wouldn’t recommend a papa who offers the oddly specific amount of ¥5,000. I also think the chances of a truly wonderful person being among the papas who spend two hours having dinner with a cute young girl and give her only ¥5,000 are extremely low.
Incidentally, when I continue texting with a woman who won’t be able to meet me for a while, I send her ¥20,000–¥30,000 via LINE Gift or PayPay to show her I’m a good guy (cheap, I know).
Even so, I’ve been dealing with one goodbye after another lately, and I’m completely exhausted.
You may be feeling pretty secure because you’re popular right now, but that’s papa-katsu: even the generous (well-paying) papas can eventually cut ties, one after another.
I recommend keeping around three papas you genuinely like, even if they’re low-paying.
What am I even doing, giving such a rambling answer...?
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