Tips
Aug 8, 2022 13:47
10 answers
👨 Male
Universe member
I don’t think you need to force yourself to like him.
Still, you should work on building your self-confidence.
It’s kind of like having successful experiences（笑).
Other
Female member Potassium here.
While reading the other respondents’ answers and thinking, “That makes sense,” I’m actually someone who has the same feelings as the questioner.
It might be more accurate to say that I’ve learned to accept myself, rather than love myself.
Could it be that, without realizing it, you’re always comparing yourself to someone else?
When I feel the same way you do, it’s usually when I’m jealous of other people, thinking things like, “Why aren’t I as cute as everyone around me?” It’s when I can’t accept myself as I am and can’t tell myself, “It’s okay to be this way.”
So, to answer your question:
If you can’t be kind enough to forgive yourself, there’s no way to learn to love yourself. Probably.
That said, there is a way to become at least a little kinder:
“Be kind to others.”
Once you’re able to do that without consciously trying, you may find that you start to love yourself without even realizing it.
I’m still trying to become a kind person in real life, even though I have to make a conscious effort, so I still have a long way to go. But I’ve become better at accepting myself than I used to be.
I’m also still working through the same thing in my own life, so let’s do our best together.
Life is long.
Of course, I don’t know if the same approach will work for you—it’s just my personal theory.
But if you don’t make an effort, nothing will change.
Other
I simply exist; I’m not something to be judged as likable or dislikeable.
That’s where you’re starting off wrong, so don’t force yourself to like me—just accept me as I am.
That said, this doesn’t mean you’re entitled to make no effort at all. Live your life sincerely.
Other
The usual advice would be:
- Write down the things you like about yourself and what you’re good at.
- Make an effort to work on the things you dislike about yourself.
As you keep trying, you’ll gradually become more confident and won’t get so emotionally drained over every little thing!
When you slip into self-loathing mode, it helps to just sleep as much as you can, do things you enjoy, and live a little selfishly~
Other
I probably love myself more than anyone else.
More than my family, the people I’m seeing—more than anyone, really, I think I love myself the most.
As Kazu-san said, I think building up a series of successful experiences is effective.
Other
I’ve never really thought about whether I like myself.
I feel like only people who dislike themselves think about how they can learn to love themselves, so I don’t think asking other people will get you anywhere.
If you have an ideal version of yourself, why not picture that person and work toward making each part of that ideal a reality?
Though I imagine that even after achieving everything, people like that will just find something else to worry about.
I guess people with fragile mental health can’t really help it.
Marika
A～Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月１程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I like myself, but I’ve never consciously tried to, so I’m not really sure how it happened.
I just realized one day that I liked myself, and I normally don’t even think about it.
Maybe the problem is thinking that you dislike yourself in the first place. It could be a case of “mind over matter.”
Thinking about things like that won’t earn you a penny. Stop wasting your precious time.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Do you think that disliking someone can still mean you have feelings for them?
Just thinking about it that way—as you asked—is enough if you’re interested.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I think it’s about building up one success after another.
When you have successful experiences, your self-esteem grows, and you’ll probably start to like yourself more.
🏅 日没を遅らせる唯一の方法は日没に向かって走り続けることだ
名古屋支店登録で、男性会員としての登録名もマックさんです。コラム多数書いてますのでよろしければご参照ください。20代の細身女性が好みで逆オファーには前向きです。経験無いまたは少ない方大歓迎。
Age: 60s
👨 Male
Universe member
You’re not someone to be liked or disliked. Learn to like men, you pervert.
Seriously, “success stories” belong to the past. They can’t necessarily be applied to the future and are liable to become misguided assumptions, so I try to treat them as if they “never happened.”
“Liking yourself” is just the flip side of “disliking yourself.” It’s better to keep it in check as much as possible and maintain a clear mind. Someone who likes themselves may one day swing to the opposite extreme and come to hate themselves.
Wild animals don’t brood over things because of self-consciousness. They think only about how to catch their prey. If that means training at the gym, they do it; if they need money, they earn it.
The phrase “Consider the lilies of the field” is similar. Flowers don’t bask in their own beauty, nor are they afraid of withering. They simply bloom and live as fully as they can in that moment. Sometimes there are girls in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) who possess that kind of wild strength, and by interacting with people like them, I hope to absorb some of that strength into myself.