I’m seeing my papa (a male supporter) less often, and I can’t tell whether he’s lost interest in me.
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I’ve been seeing a papa for over a year on a monthly arrangement of 200,000 yen. We originally planned to meet twice a month, but for the past five months it’s only been once a month. Every time we meet, he says, “I’ve been busy this month.” Honestly, I thought maybe he disliked me, but when I’m asleep, he strokes me and kisses me. The other day, he also gave me a gift worth several hundred thousand yen even though it wasn’t my birthday. When I said I wanted to stay at a luxury hotel, he booked the royal suite and even paid for the room without staying there himself.
I know my papa is a womanizer and has other women, and there are traces of them in his room—empty condom boxes, cosmetics, and so on.
It’s true that he spends three to four hours each way traveling to see me. But he does meet other girls too. (I don’t know how many.)
How can I tell whether he really is too busy to see me, or whether he’s lost interest in me?
It sounds like he’s keeping you around as an option…
As I’ve mentioned before, if your papa doesn’t occasionally think, “Oh, she has this new side to her,” or “She really is a wonderful and interesting girl,” he’ll get bored of a relationship based solely on physical attraction within a year.
Once he sees that you’re shallow as a person, you’ll have no choice but to rely on your looks alone.
To avoid that, make sure you don’t neglect communication with your papa.
For example, I regularly end up arguing with my papa, but apparently he finds it adds a little spice. Sometimes it leads to new discoveries, like, “So this is how she thinks,” and makes him become even more invested in me.
Even in a mistress-type relationship, asserting yourself is important, so I recommend regularly facing your partner honestly and directly.
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As others have said, if he disliked you, he probably wouldn’t meet up with you, so I don’t think he dislikes you.
I’m not sure what he’s busy with, but prying probably won’t do any good.
Just be patient and wait.
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As Mac says, a mistress’s job is to wait.
Don’t overthink things by assuming he dislikes you. Just trust him and wait.
That said, if you’re relying on him even partially for your livelihood, start preparing for what comes next now, so you’ll be okay whenever the relationship ends.
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Haha (lol). I don’t think she dislikes you, but she’s probably just busy with various things. As long as she’s still contacting you, I think you’re fine. Why not invite her out once in a while?
In my case, it’s twice a month too (lol). We’ve been seeing each other at the same pace for four years since we started dating.
Apparently, the woman I’m seeing really likes meeting twice a month, every other week. She says that seeing an older man at this comfortable distance—not too often, not too bothersome, and neither too close nor too distant—is just right (lol).
I’m busy too, and it works well for me in terms of managing my health and finances, so twice a month is plenty.
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“I often hear complaints like, ‘My papa (a male supporter) wants to see me every week even though the monthly arrangement is 200,000 yen, and it’s annoying,’ but this is almost the first time I’ve heard someone complain that their papa only sees them once a month despite paying 200,000 yen monthly.
It sounds like a nice problem to have, though. You could find another papa too—couldn’t this actually be the best-case scenario?
> How can I tell whether he really is too busy to meet or whether he’s lost interest in me?
If he’s coming to see you once a month even though you’re long-distance, that’s not bad. I don’t think he dislikes you. It seems like the questioner could simply go to where her papa lives.
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He’s simply found another girl he wants to see. He still likes you, but he no longer feels the need to meet you as often.
I think he’ll try to gloss over that by preparing expensive gifts or a suite for you.
If he starts thinking he can keep you happy with money, it’ll be difficult for you to become anything more than a backup option. He may also start keeping other girls as insurance—or looking for someone else—so he doesn’t feel insecure.
Whether it’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), a romantic relationship, or marriage, I think the most reassuring kind of relationship is one where you respect and value each other, can rely on one another, and feel that you’re both important and irreplaceable.
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If he disliked you, I don’t think he’d meet you or give you presents. That said, it’s probably true that he has other favorites too. He may simply be busy because he’s spending his free time with other girls.
Keep interacting with him as you have been. If he makes plans to see you again, he hasn’t lost interest. If he doesn’t even reply, then I suppose that’s the end of it.
If he’s financially well-off, he can probably do the same for other girls as he does for you.
Marika
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