I previously asked here whether I should tell my partner that it was my first offer. Thank you for your advice at the time.
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It’s been three months since I joined the club. Until now, I had only been seeing one woman, whom I met shortly after joining, but I’m planning to meet a second woman soon.
What I’m struggling with is that the first woman I met has been getting busier with her club activities, so it’s been difficult to increase how often we see each other. When I made my offer, she had been registered for six months and was rated three stars, and said that offers had settled down. However, around the same time I met her, she went up to four stars and then quickly to five. She also said that she was receiving more new offers.
I give her an allowance of 70,000 yen. I don’t know whether it’s true, but according to what she told me, most of her papas give her 40,000 or 50,000 yen, so she said she appreciated that I was on the generous side.
However, she doesn’t seem inclined to turn down existing papas based on the amount of their allowance. In a way, I like that she isn’t overly focused on money, but I also have mixed feelings because even offering more doesn’t seem to change my priority. It makes me wonder whether I simply lack appeal.
Sorry for rambling.
We continue to exchange messages on LINE at a pace of about one round-trip every few days, and it doesn’t feel negative. Should I keep watching how things develop at this slow pace?
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to answer.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
Each answer to this question has its own charm.
I think this is the first really good one we’ve had in a while.
My recommendation would be:
Take Paper Airplane’s answer and Make-Otoko’s answer, add them together, and divide by two! (笑)
papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) isn’t about the amount of money!
Pay close attention to the other person. I’m sure she’s trying to be pleasant to everyone, but look beyond that pleasant façade and glimpse her true self!
If she comes to feel that you’re the right person for her, she’ll stop accepting other offers. And if she sees you as an important papa (a male supporter), her attitude toward you will gradually change.
So I think you should observe her very carefully over the course of about a year. The more you watch, the more you’ll understand her, so there’s no harm in waiting to make your decision until then. (笑)
P.S.
When you meet her, aren’t you only looking at her breasts and pussy?
Try changing your perspective!
Pay attention to her expressions and breathing while you’re talking, and to how things feel when you get intimate with her. (笑)
Ah! I’m sure you understand this already, but don’t take all of this too literally. (笑)
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I agree with Mac-san: you should make offers to more women and date a variety of them.
That way, I think you’ll gain more experience.
There’s nothing wrong with seeing different women either.
As for your comment that an allowance of 7 doesn’t raise your priority, I don’t think that amount alone would make your priority go up.
On the other hand, if it were the same 5 as everyone else, you should at least consider that you might have been cut loose.
The allowance is important, but you should also keep in mind that she may be evaluating you based on other things—such as whether she enjoys spending time with you and whether you take her out for good meals.
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I think you’re lacking either the experience or the financial means—or both—to be with highly sought-after women. If you’re exceptionally strong in one area, you can probably make up for being lacking in the other.
I also recommend the approach Mac mentioned.
Marika
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When it’s 50,000, 70,000, or 100,000 yen, the difference in allowance alone usually won’t make up for shortcomings in other areas, so it may be worth reassessing whether there are issues elsewhere.
It’s hard to say objectively since this is just my own assessment, but in my case, I think I was probably better overall than the other papas the women I dated had met—including the dates themselves, personal hygiene, and my everyday behavior.
Of course, higher allowance is always preferable, but if the other aspects aren’t up to par, I think that can become stressful.
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First of all, let me applaud you for paying ¥70,000 per meeting.
The median allowance is ¥50,000, so you’re a generous (well-paying) papa.
To answer your question: if the terms are good but she still won’t make you a priority, I’d say it’s time to move on. There are plenty of wonderful women out there, so give the next woman a chance. It’s the woman who fails to seize the opportunity who’s at fault.
My minimum is ¥100,000 per meeting, but women are grateful and treat me well at first, then that gratitude quickly fades and they start slacking off.
I can’t exactly tell them to try harder, so I simply leave without even saying goodbye. Parting with a woman I’ve had an adult relationship (intimate) with is always painful, but a new woman helps me forget.
What’s amazing about my ace is that she expresses her gratitude more now than when we first met. And it’s not just her words—her actions are incredible too. When someone is like that, of course you want to give her as much as you can.
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From a woman’s perspective, I don’t think she’ll feel satisfied, so you’re better off moving on to the next woman.
A five-star rating means exactly that… and it also means the experience wasn’t bad for everyone, right?
If she’s a popular woman, you have two options:
Either pay 4.50 and meet her once a month—or make it so generous that she doesn’t even have to meet you every month, like Loser Guy does;
or meet her as often as she wants, with no more than two or three days between dates. (However, this can backfire if she doesn’t feel relaxed and able to relieve her stress with you.)
You need to make her lose interest in meeting other papas—or make it so she no longer needs the allowance.
Basically, you have to make her not want to bother accepting offers from people whose personalities she doesn’t even know. At the same time, you need to give her a strong sense of security by making it clear that you genuinely like her and intend to cherish her for a long time. If she has even the slightest doubt that you’ll continue seeing her, of course she’ll accept other offers too.
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This may sound harsh, but it’s unrealistic to expect priority treatment for an allowance of around 70,000 yen.
If you’re offering 70,000 yen because you want her to prioritize you, I don’t think the arrangement will last, so you may be better off stopping.
You should only offer an allowance you can comfortably afford.
As for the LINE exchanges you asked about, the more popular a woman is, the more men she’s communicating with.
Exchanging about one message every few days seems fairly reasonable, but if you suggest messaging every day, it may become a burden for her and lead to her ending things.
I’m a low-paying papa who sees a popular woman once a month on a pay-per-meeting basis for 50,000 yen. We don’t exchange unnecessary messages, and I think it’s lasted because I don’t do things she dislikes, so it doesn’t feel like a burden to her.
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Isn’t it really about what you want?
If you’d like to continue seeing the first woman casually for a long time, then there’s nothing wrong with leaving things as they are. But if you want to see her more often—in other words, if you want her to make more time for you—then you’ll need to become appealing enough that she’d turn down other people for you.
Well, if you feel that the second woman you’re meeting next time is even better than the first, you’ll probably want to see her more too. So I’d say it’s best to wait and see how things go.
I hope the second woman turns out to be wonderful too!
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This isn’t a place for sharing personal impressions or providing an instruction manual on how to deal with women.
Everyone has different feelings, so there’s no way to advise you on what you should do.
I think you should simply do what feels right to you.
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