Assuming the other person agrees in advance, would it be possible to talk via LINE or Zoom after exchanging emails but before meeting in person? I feel that confirming our chemistry and compatibility beforehand could benefit both of us.
I really don’t like people who try to hedge their bets.
> I won’t discuss the allowance at all until we meet.
I completely agree.
Even after meeting, I don’t think it’s something you necessarily have to discuss if you want to deepen the relationship.
Are we deepening a contract?
Or are we deepening a relationship?
The allowance and the terms of the arrangement are both very important. But even more than that, I believe the relationship itself is far more precious and meaningful.
I hope more men and women will build deeper relationships with each other… That’s my wish.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m the somewhat lost man in my 60s who came up with the idea of letter dating.
It’s been getting quite a bit of criticism, hasn’t it? lol
I remembered this when I spoke with Maezawa-san the other day: I had proposed that the offer fee be the same as the usual arrangement fee.
I’ve forgotten when it became half price. I’ll admit that the discount has been helpful, though… lol
At first, the club gave the woman 5,000 yen. I’ve forgotten when that stopped, too. lol
I’m sorry to the ladies, but I don’t send money via LINE Pay or anything like that. I feel uncomfortable with the idea of taking on the club’s efforts to promote letter dating. I suppose that’s because I know how things have unfolded from the beginning. (汗)
The very first thing I always tell someone in a letter date is how grateful I am that she accepted.
At the same time, I explain why I chose letter dating. I also tell her that I’d like to meet as soon as possible.
As for the allowance, I don’t discuss it at all until we meet.
I write carefully, with the aim of easing any anxiety she may have.
(The ladies usually thank me for these initial exchanges.) This also leads smoothly into communicating via LINE afterward.
I hardly ever wrote love letters when I was young, but now I find myself thinking, “Ah, so this is how you write one…” lol
The results have been very good. lol
I hope this helps. m(_ _)m
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Once an offer is accepted through a letter date, it should become a private relationship that the club no longer gets involved in, so I believe anything is possible.
That said, from the woman’s perspective, even if it’s only a video call, it’s still a first meeting, so she’ll probably take time to do her makeup and get ready to look as attractive as possible.
So I don’t think you should ask her to do it for free. At the very least, it would be considerate to send her around half the transportation cost—about ¥5,000—in advance.
I’m sorry this isn’t specifically about a club, but I once matched with someone similar on an app. We met after having a video call, and although I wasn’t particularly impressed during the call, in person she was exactly my type—both in looks and overall qualities—and we quickly hit it off.
So, in the end, it’s best to meet in person and see for yourself!
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I use it a lot for work, but only to communicate things quickly or fill in gaps that can’t be covered over the phone. Even for basic business meetings, I think it’s important to meet and talk in person. The reason is that you get a different sense of the other person’s reactions and how deeply they understand or confirm things.
So I feel that trying to do that in this kind of arrangement is pretty risky. What do you think?
Meeting in person involves a lot of things, lol. People who don’t realize that can be disappointing once you actually meet them. And if they’re only meeting to hide those shortcomings, wouldn’t that be even worse?
Who knows, though. ← Such a useful phrase, lol.
P.S. Actually, I suppose there are more and more matches these days where neither person is looking for that kind of thing. In that case, maybe it’s fine to save time, quickly provide the allowance, make the equivalent exchange, and part ways just as quickly. So that’s what it’s about, lol.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
What women care about most is the allowance. The allowance. The allowance.
I said it three times because it’s important.
So, if you tell women the allowance upfront on a letter date, it gives them a reason to go through with it.
I offered an allowance of 12 on a letter date, and two women turned down meeting me.
Win-win.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
> I think it could benefit both parties if they could get a sense of their chemistry and compatibility beforehand.
Aren’t you just trying to disguise the fact that the setting fee would be cut in half?
Even if the setting fee stayed the same, would you still prefer to confirm things beforehand?
If you ended up not meeting because the other person felt you weren’t a good match after the video call, would you still consider it reasonable to pay the setting fee?
With that in mind:
I’m not sure how confident you are in yourself, but when it’s only a short video call, the man’s good qualities usually don’t come across. His negative sides may stand out instead, and the woman may decide she doesn’t want to meet him.
Also, if you act as though you’re being set up through a club—saying things like, “I’m free on this day,” or “Why hasn’t she replied yet?”—the woman may lose interest in meeting you as well.
Considering all that, arranging a video call beforehand seems to be more about a man’s own fantasies and overactive imagination than anything else. I don’t think it offers men much benefit.
For men who are naturally popular, I can see there being some advantages to a video call. But in most cases, it seems more beneficial to meet in person, have a conversation, and let the woman gradually discover what’s good about you.
> “After exchanging emails, would it be possible to talk on LINE or Zoom before going on an in-person date?”
That depends on how skillfully you handle it.
After a pen-pal-style date, you’re free to do whatever you like. The other person is also free to turn you down.
So I think it comes down to how well you can steer the conversation in that direction.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
You’ll be sent a LINE QR code.
Is it possible to talk via LINE or Zoom before meeting in person?
Before messaging them on LINE, you should send them something via LINE Pay or a similar service. That’s what papa-katsu is about…
Otherwise, they may think you’re being stingy and trying to keep costs down.
I believe letter dates are intended for people who can’t meet right away or have difficulty coordinating schedules. They’re not for checking someone out beforehand.
If you try to probe them through LINE or another app, you’ll only put the woman in a bad mood, so it’s best not to.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
If we’re meeting right away, that’s fine, but if we’re going to exchange a lot of messages beforehand, I’d ask him to send me ¥5,000 upfront via LINE Pay.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
If you send an amount equivalent to the transportation allowance for the first meeting via LINE Pay or something similar, then there’s some benefit for both parties. But if there’s no such arrangement, you’re the only one who benefits.
I use online tools quite a lot for work, but I find communicating effectively through them more difficult than meeting face-to-face. And I’m sorry to say this, but I feel that relatively few people from older generations than mine are able to use them skillfully for communication.
Communication through an online tool is especially difficult for a first meeting.
So, I don’t think there’s any benefit for me.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
