I’m posting in the question box because I’d really like to hear everyone’s opinions.
It’s been a month since I joined, and about three days after joining, I received an offer from a very kind male member. He told me he’d like to keep seeing me, which made me very happy. We exchanged contact information and have been texting—not every day, but fairly regularly. Around the time of our first date, it was either his birthday or close to it, so I gave him a Parker ballpoint pen as a present on our second date. It was a set of two pens, but he said he felt bad accepting both and that one was enough, so I kept the other one as a good-luck charm.
I got the feeling that we might meet about once a month, so I told him I was looking forward to seeing him next month as well. He replied that he can’t make plans for dates or overnight stays right now, because he has to maintain his everyday life, and asked me to understand.
Is it okay to interpret this as meaning that I should wait until things settle down at work?
I’d love to hear everyone’s opinions ((*_ _)) *bows*
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂30s👑Universe female member
Hmm… I have a feeling this may be the end.
Wait a month or two, and if he still hasn’t made plans for a date, you should probably start looking for another papa (a male supporter).
Since it’s unlikely he would make an offer knowing he was about to get busy, “I’m busy” sounds more like an excuse.
There’s still a slight chance he really has become busy, though…
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If it were me, I’d assume there probably won’t be a next time.
When someone likes you, they’ll make time for you even if they’re busy. And if they can’t meet right away, they’ll at least give you an idea of when they might be available.
If he hasn’t done that, I feel like it’s probably not going to work out.
It’s especially sad since you even prepared a birthday present for him…
Try not to dwell on it too much, and keep your hopes up for meeting someone wonderful!
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“Sorry, just one bill is fine.”
This is usually a signal that they’re not interested in pursuing the relationship: “I can’t accept that much. I don’t really need anything at all.”
> Can I interpret this as meaning, “Please wait for me until things settle down at work”?
In most cases, it means they’re saying goodbye.
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Was your first adult relationship on the second date?
Did you give him a present on the second date? Maybe he wanted to keep things more casual?
Were you told to “understand that he needs to maintain his everyday life,” with no plans to meet again?
Questioner, I think you should look for someone else. My impression is that he probably has no intention of seeing you again.
Think carefully about what you may have done wrong so you can avoid repeating it next time.
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For example, if the first meeting was dinner only and you became intimate on the second, and it turned out to be just average—not particularly good or bad—he may simply feel satisfied for now and decide to look for someone else next time.
There’s a saying, “good in bed,” but I think that takes a certain level of ability too.
Also, if he isn’t actually very wealthy and is stretching himself to pay the allowance, they may not be able to meet very often.
If that’s the case, you might end up waiting until he has more financial room. But then you’ll continue having days without receiving an allowance, so I think it would be better to look for another man as well.
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Maybe he’s busy with work, short on money, dealing with family issues—or perhaps he’s seeing another woman and is busy, but doesn’t want to cut you off completely, so he’s keeping you on the back burner.
I’m sure all sorts of possibilities are running through your mind, but there’s no way for the people answering to know the truth.
I’d say there’s about an 80% chance this will simply fade out.
Marika
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He sounds like a well-mannered male member, so either he’s short on money or busy with other female members.
If you don’t want him to forget about you, all you can do is reach out and remind him of yourself from time to time.
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If I ended up in the questioner’s situation—being unable to meet again after an adult relationship (intimate)—I’d suspect an odor issue.
I’d Google things like:
“suso-wakiga Nagoya”
“bad breath clinic Toyohashi”
Then I’d rush to a medical facility and have a third party check my breath, intimate-area odor, and underarm odor.
I’d check my feet too, along with everything else, like nose hair and ear hair. If everything was fine, I’d give up and blame the other person, thinking, “It’s not my fault!” lol
That said, people often compliment my unnecessarily high standards when it comes to appearance and scents—like my choice of perfume—so I’m overly generous when I rate myself and assume I probably meet the basic standards of cleanliness.
But I never let my guard down, not even by a millimeter. As my Q&A-box followers know all too well, my personality, character, and looks are just way too awful...
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There could be all sorts of reasons, but it does seem like he’s genuinely busy.
Whether that’s because of work, other dates, or trying to raise money, I’m sure it’ll become clear in time.
With relationships through a dating club, it’s best to take things easy, look forward to the various possibilities, and quietly enjoy an arrangement that benefits both of you… haha.
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