About the allowance.

It’s simple. Just think of it this way: “I want my partner to enjoy a peaceful, comfortable life. I want to support her—but that costs money.” After all, gifts are part of any romantic relationship, and everyday dates can’t consist of going to hotels alone. Planning trips and other kinds of dates costs money too. You’d probably want her to wear nice clothes and shoes, and if you want your partner to look beautiful, you’d want to help cover her beauty expenses as well. A papa (a male supporter) who’s looking for a “girlfriend” may not like handing over cash, but he’ll often be very willing to support her in those kinds of ways. From there, it can develop into things like, “I’ll pay your rent,” or “You can use my card.” I once had a papa who initially paid me an allowance of 10,000 yen for a full day out together, with no hotel involved. Eventually, he became a generous (well-paying) papa. Of course, to receive that level of support, you also need to put in some effort—traveling with him, accompanying him while he shops, and so on. It’s about laying the groundwork. If he’s the kind of papa you wouldn’t mind going on those dates with, that groundwork shouldn’t feel like a burden. As you enjoy spending time together, he may naturally become attached and start spending a lot more on you. That’s the mindset I’d suggest approaching it with. *However, if he simply thinks “girlfriend” means someone he can date without spending money on, no amount of groundwork will help. In that case, quietly fade out as soon as possible. Otherwise, you’ll only end up exhausted from having your youth taken advantage of.*

I’ve had someone say the same thing to me. The club’s rules meant he gave me an allowance the first time, but on our second dinner date, there was no allowance. When he invited me out again and I asked about it, he said, “I thought we’d become more like a couple. Are you only interested in money?” I was thinking, “If you don’t want to pay an allowance, then don’t do papa-katsu! And don’t hide behind ‘I don’t like girls who are all about money.’” Instead, I just messaged him, “I’m sorry for asking something so rude—I clearly didn’t understand papa-katsu very well,” then immediately blocked him and reported him to the staff. I don’t think he would’ve paid even if you negotiated with him, so don’t waste your energy on someone like that. Think of it as a learning experience and move on to the next one. By the way, apparently you can change your rating after the date, even later on. I put up at least a little resistance, haha.

There’s absolutely no need to continue seeing a papa who says something defensive like, “I’m not compatible with girls who are all about money.” Personally, I don’t negotiate the allowance with someone I want to keep seeing—not even after an adult relationship (intimate). I want to enjoy the relationship, so I prefer to avoid making it feel too much like an obvious contract. If I don’t feel like continuing with someone, I’ll usually state the terms upfront so there are no hard feelings later. As for how you feel about this man: if you like him and trust him, you can leave it up to him. But if you don’t feel comfortable, I think you should feel free to say so.

Was there no allowance for the second date? If you’re getting 10,000 yen for dinner, why not keep things as they are? If he says he wants an adult relationship (intimate), you can say, “Sorry for focusing so much on money,” and tell him the allowance you want. If he gets angry, just say, “You’re only after my body too, aren’t you?” That should bring him back to reality.

That man doesn’t seem willing to give you an allowance, so I don’t think you need to worry about being so considerate. Even if you avoid asking and continue seeing him, it seems unlikely that he’ll start giving you an allowance. Why not just ask him directly? Personally, I don’t think asking someone about an allowance when they haven’t explained it themselves makes you seem money-minded.

In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and dating clubs, “I want us to have a relationship like a couple” and “we don’t need to discuss the allowance” are absolutely not the same thing. No matter how good an impression this papa (a male supporter) gives, he’s not a gentleman at all—he’s simply a bad papa. I think it would be best to part ways without negotiating. If you really want to negotiate, consider the advice from the other respondents. [Edit] Come to think of it, if he can’t even spend a decent amount of money on his girlfriend, he’s disappointing as a man. He’s not just a bad papa—he’s a bad boyfriend, period. If you want to try having a relationship like a couple, why not ask him to cover your rent, request an expensive birthday present, or make up lots of anniversaries and ask for gifts? Your girlfriend or wife is the person you spend the most money on.

I don’t like to make everything about money, so I never bring it up myself ₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ If I don’t receive anything, I simply won’t see him again (*^^*) That way, it’s much simpler (๑>◡<๑) P.S. Personally, if a papa told me, “I’m not really into girls who are so money-focused,” I’d immediately think there wouldn’t be a next time. Because I’d feel like, “So that’s how he saw me?” And by saying that, I can sense the malice and stinginess behind it—basically, “Don’t even think about complaining about the allowance.” Is there any other reason to say something like that~? I have no intention of negotiating the allowance, whether it’s 0, 0.3, 1, or 2. But if someone said that to me, it would be an immediate deal-breaker, and I wouldn’t see him again. It’s just petty. He’s terrible at verbal masturbation—basically, a mutant version of the money-money type, but in reverse.