I want to end things with my papa (a male supporter) of about six months. I don’t have any other papas, and I’m his only girl.
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We have a good relationship, and he’s a really kind person, so honestly, I’d like to continue as we are. But I’m afraid I’ll keep becoming financially dependent on him. I’m still a new graduate with a low salary, yet my sense of money is already starting to get a little distorted.
Even if we only see each other occasionally or continue our relationship half-heartedly, I feel like I’ll eventually become dependent on him again. So, if possible, I’d like to end things cleanly. How should I explain it to my papa so that he’ll understand?
If you want to quit completely, I think it’s fine to tell him just that.
As Mac said, the real issue is your attitude toward money. If that’s the only problem, then, as Kamihikōki suggested, your papa (a male supporter) might be happy to keep treating you to meals and listening to you talk about your life.
We’re also in a one-on-one relationship, but recently the woman I’m seeing asked me, “Even after our allowance-based relationship ends, could we still meet up occasionally?”
Since it took me four years of seeing her to finally become a former handsome guy, I replied, “Of course!”
However, there’s no sign of our allowance-based relationship ending anytime soon!
She’s started working, but she still asks to borrow money in advance, saying things like, “I’m really short on cash!” She also wants to get a qualification, so I expect it’ll continue for a while longer.
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How would you break up with a boyfriend you no longer have feelings for?
If he still loves you, I don’t think you can make him accept or understand the breakup.
Just don’t make any plans to meet again, thank him for everything, and tell him, “I can’t see you anymore.” That should be enough.
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I once had a girl leave my monthly arrangement because she was quitting papa-katsu. I had been giving her a substantial monthly allowance.
She still contacts me regularly, and I’ll take her out for meals even without an allowance.
When we parted ways, she said, “I’m thinking of quitting papa-katsu, but I’d still like to see you, Loser Man, and I’d appreciate being able to talk things over with you.” I was happy to agree.
I didn’t ask why she was quitting. Girls have all kinds of circumstances, after all.
Maybe it was because I’m a little too well-endowed… She seemed to be in some pain. I guess papas with less to offer and a tendency to finish quickly are more popular, huh…
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If you have a good relationship with your current papa and want to continue, but don’t want to become financially dependent on him, I’d say you have three options:
1. Continue seeing him as you are and put the allowance toward savings or investments instead of spending it.
2. If you don’t want to receive an allowance, continue the relationship without one.
3. End things with your papa and quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
Those would be my choices.
Some papas don’t want to continue seeing someone without an allowance, so I’d suggest discussing that with the papa you’re currently seeing.
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If he’s a really good person and you have a good relationship, it’s fine to tell him exactly what you wrote.
And if he’s a man you’d like to see as a person without an allowance, you can say, “I’m not looking for papa-katsu—I’d just like to have dinner together and maybe talk things over, without an allowance.”
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