When I meet a man through a typical dating situation (where no money is involved), I may want to see him but deliberately wait for him to ask me out, or delay replying a little even when I’ve seen his LINE message right away—I sometimes play these kinds of games.
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I can’t seem to break that habit, and I find myself doing the same with men I meet through a mistress club, where money is involved.
To what extent are these kinds of games necessary? Or since this is different from a typical relationship once money is involved, would it be better not to play games at all?
For the women here, do you ever say things like “I want to see you” or contact him first? Unless he’s blatantly ignoring you, do you reach out on your own even when he hasn’t contacted you?
I’m Misato, a female member.
As many of you have said, I don’t think it’s a good idea to play games. When I want to see someone, I make a point of reaching out without making them feel pressured. However, if I’m not having a good time even when we’re on a date, I thank them afterward and don’t contact them again.
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It’s really best not to play games!
The reason is that wealthy papas who are likely to become generous supporters—especially business owners—tend to dislike women who act calculating or engage in game-playing.
Men who run businesses have met a lot of women on their way to reaching their current position. Many have had so many people play games with them that they’ve grown tired of it. They also often interact with hostesses and other nightlife women, and after becoming exhausted by the sales pitches and dishonest exchanges, what they really want is to meet someone genuine.
So I think genuine women who openly show affection and have a cute, slightly sexy charm are appreciated the most. Of course, there are exceptions, but I don’t think this is too far off the mark.
I try to be as straightforward as possible, and I make a point of contacting the other person first. It’s best to reach out without overthinking it.
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I’m not the type who can play hard to get.
If I want to see someone, I just tell them I want to see them, and if I get a LINE message, I reply right away…
I’m personally curious about the games women play when they’re considering an offer from a “loser guy” like me, lol.
■“Loser guy”
I’m honestly envious of women who still negotiate even after being offered 100,000 yen or more—they must have incredibly strong mentalities, lol.
I’ll try to stay humble and not get too caught up in the money right in front of me…!
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When you’re dating in your teens or twenties, things like playing games with your replies often come up in dating manuals, but I feel like they have the opposite effect in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
When I’m seeing multiple women, I compare those who reply quickly with those who reply slowly, and the ones who respond quickly leave a better impression.
If someone takes a long time to reply, I assume I’m pretty low on her list of priorities.
Also, compared with women who never say they want to meet, it’s simply nice when a woman tells me she wants to see me.
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I can understand playing games to see whether a romantic relationship will work out (I don’t do it—or rather, I can’t), but what does “playing games” mean in a relationship through a dating club, where things are already assumed to be working out?
Is it about thinking, “If I do this, maybe he’ll want to see me more and the relationship will progress on my terms,” or “Maybe I can get him more hooked on me and raise my allowance”?
If I were a man and realized that was what she was doing, I wouldn’t want to continue seeing her.
Still, it seems some people naturally do things that resemble playing games—the woman referred to as Regional Blacklist A in the previous question, for example.
Whether it works or not probably depends on the other person.
Marika
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I don’t play games, whether it’s in private or anywhere else~
If I get an email, I feel like I have to reply right away, so…
I think I only worried about playing hard to get when I was in middle or high school.
On the contrary, I’ll tell them things like, “I’m usually asleep around this time,” or “I have work now, so I’m going to sign off for a bit.”
Ever since I started working and was told I needed to respond quickly, I’ve always been like this (´・ω・｀)
Since we both have jobs, wouldn’t playing games just be a hassle? ( ˙꒳˙ )???
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This is a club, not a romance—so why play games? Especially from the woman’s side…
Just as Yurine wrote, that’s exactly right.
A man has chosen you and made you an offer out of thousands of women, so you also need to show some initiative—preferably plenty of it. Since money is involved, if you don’t make a real effort, he may start worrying that the feelings are one-sided.
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I don’t play games.
Some men may enjoy that kind of back-and-forth, so I think it depends on the person.
If I want to see someone, I tell them I want to see them. If I like someone, I tell them I like them. I might get rejected, but expressing your words and feelings honestly tends to get the message across better, so that’s generally what I do—whether it’s in a dating club or at work.
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I often deliberately explain the “secrets of the trick”—the theory behind the push-and-pull—to help women relax.
Pickup is both a science and a game of shogi, so there’s a reason behind every move. When I explain how much attention I pay to even the smallest details to get a woman to let her guard down, they listen with their eyes shining.
Of course, I never used to reveal my methods. But these days, I’ve reached a stage where revealing them—in other words, not playing games—makes it surprisingly easy to win women over, so that’s what I do.
It works like a charm in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), too, whether I’m pursuing a men’s esthetician or a lounge hostess.
Update:
Come to think of it, the woman I’m currently making an offer to is trying to play games with me.
My conclusion will probably be to turn her down, saying, “I guess it just wasn’t meant to be,” as I do nine times out of ten.
Update:
To Tsubaki:
As usual, I offered a pay-per-meeting allowance of 100,000 yen or more, but she’s apparently trying to see if she can squeeze even more out of me. The little tricks she’s pulling are honestly kind of funny.
What I’m thinking behind the scenes is, “I just found out I already have 13 monthly arrangements, so I don’t need this girl.” I’ve already cut her loose in my mind.
Since she’s a B-type, I’m tempted to have dinner with her, go all out making her feel special, get her interested, and then let her go. Just returning the favor for trying to one-up me♡
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If the other person realizes you’re playing games, it can really kill the mood.
So, as long as we’re talking about what’s going on inside you—and assuming you don’t let the other person notice—then making some effort to be liked (which I think is what you mean by “playing games”) seems perfectly normal.
And since everyone has a different approach, it also seems natural to act in whatever way feels right to you—such as not inviting him yourself and waiting for him to make the first move.
If you replace “playing games” with “acting in a way that makes the other person like you,” it doesn’t seem all that strange.
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Men are all different, but I’m the type who finds playing games exhausting. It doesn’t matter whether we met through a dating club or somewhere else.
Most of the time, I think these games are nothing more than a one-sided effort.
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