I only recently joined, but I’ve received several offers and gone on dates. However, none of them have been willing to discuss the allowance.

Is 8 the going minimum? → Based on what I’ve seen in Q&A forums, online, and in the field, it depends on whether you view the going rate as the average or the median. The average is probably pushed up by some people, so I’d say it’s higher than 8. But the median is probably 5. Or is this considered a high amount? → Compared with the going rate, there is a difference as mentioned above, but either way, I don’t think it’s particularly high. Also, do people generally not discuss the allowance beforehand? → I discuss it beforehand, and people who do seem to tend to be more gentlemanly. Experience may play a part, but I did this from the beginning. And if someone is genuinely considerate and gentlemanly, they would probably bring it up in advance as a courtesy. That’s my answer.

If you search for “allowance” on the Q&A site, you’ll quickly see that 80,000 yen is considered quite generous. I assume she’s trying to brag, but she really is an incredibly rude woman.

I don’t bring up the allowance either. For C- or B-type arrangements, I may discuss it in advance on the first day, but if I’m really interested in him, I don’t bring it up regardless of the type. If I’m not that interested, it’s usually a one-time thing, so I discuss the allowance beforehand. When it’s a woman who received a reverse offer, I bring up the allowance first because I’ve read the Q&A section. An allowance of 80,000 yen per meeting is quite high. Also, since he was the first man to make you an offer, there’s a good chance he likes you more than the others. He may treat you well and be more likely to continue the arrangement long-term—although there’s still a possibility that he simply goes after newcomers. Try to assess that, and hopefully you’ll be able to maintain the arrangement for a long time. Also, since you’re essentially a brand-new member, I think it’s better to refrain from bringing up the allowance yourself during the first few months, even if you’re curious about it. I imagine giving a specific desired amount would also leave a bad impression. After four or five months or so, discussing the allowance probably won’t have much impact.

I’d bring it up myself, while a good papa (a male supporter) will probably ask about it from his side. You don’t need to be as worried about being tactful as you think. Papas understand that this is a relationship based on an allowance, so if the man doesn’t mention it first, just ask him clearly and casually. If he says, “Let’s go to the room next,” you can ask something like: “Okay. Before we go to the room, could we confirm the allowance?” Make sure you agree on the terms beforehand before going to the room, so you don’t end up having a bad experience later. As for the amount, set a minimum you’re not willing to go below. If he offers less than that, decide in advance that you’ll decline and leave then and there. I think 80,000 yen is pretty good.

It’s risky not to discuss the allowance beforehand. So far, I’ve happened to meet only decent people, and I’ve received the allowance properly. But apparently, some strange men join these apps and say things like: “What? You expect an allowance?” “I can’t do something that sounds like prostitution.” “Isn’t this just free love?” So there’s always a possibility that someone like that has slipped in. If they’re found out, they’ll receive a warning, and if they repeat it, they’ll be banned, so they won’t remain on the app forever. However, there’s still a chance that the questioner could become the first victim. With that in mind, you really need to discuss the allowance properly before going to a hotel. You may feel that there’s no good opportunity to bring it up, but being asked whether you can go to a hotel is your chance. If he starts heading there without asking, you can simply stop walking. He’ll probably ask, “What’s wrong?” That’s when you could say something like: “I’m sorry to ask something so rude, but how much would the allowance be?” If the amount isn’t acceptable to you, just remain standing there without continuing to walk, looking hesitant. Then the man will start wondering why you aren’t moving. If he’s perceptive, he may realize that the allowance is too low. At that point, things may go a few different ways: 1. He may give up, saying he won’t continue unless you accept that allowance. In other words, he has no intention of offering more. 2. He may try to persuade you to accept that amount or explain why he thinks it’s fair. 3. He may offer more or ask how much you’re hoping for. 4. And so on. If he responds in the third way, you may be able to have an arrangement with an allowance that meets your expectations. The first type may still be a decent man, so even if you’re not happy with the allowance, you could consider meeting him once to see what he’s like. The second type is questionable, so I think it would be better to leave right then. Of course, the amount you can ask for will also depend on the other person’s personality and appearance, so you need to take those factors into account. > Is 8 generally considered the minimum? > Or is that considered a high amount? Everyone is different, so there isn’t really one standard market rate. It’s like asking, “How much is a painting worth?” There’s no single answer. A Picasso would probably sell for a high price, while an unknown artist’s work might be worth very little. So I think your allowance will ultimately settle somewhere between what you want and what the other person is willing to pay. That said, if you want 10, you could simply stand there quietly when he offers 8. Some people actually receive more than 10, while others receive 4 or less. You should think carefully about an allowance that you’re comfortable with and won’t regret accepting.

I’m struggling with this too right now. When they ask, “What allowance are you hoping for?” I have no idea what to say… I wrote about this in a column as well (though it hasn’t been posted yet), but even when someone says “model,” there are all kinds: models that everyone knows, reader models, local models, self-proclaimed models, and even girls who are just cute enough to look like models. There’s also a big difference in what people consider “normally cute,” right? Even Karen Kahala looked completely different at the height of her career, during her fuller-figured phase, and now. So I honestly have no idea how I’m supposed to decide what I’m worth as an ordinary person. I’m so confused and worried about it(´･ ･`) Maybe I’ll never figure it out｡ﾟ(ﾟ^ω^ﾟ)ﾟ｡

I also always left discussions about the allowance up to the men. I was really uncomfortable with that, so maybe that’s why I came to only see people I felt secure with in monthly arrangements. But if you’re getting 80,000 yen per meeting, isn’t that pretty good? An acquaintance of mine occasionally sees a politician for 100,000 yen per meeting, but she says, “I don’t really like him, so it’s kind of a mixed bag.” Even if you get 100,000 yen, you can still dislike it. And that’s okay. The amount of money and the pleasure you get don’t necessarily go hand in hand. So as long as it isn’t painful or unbearable, I think it’s fine to continue as you are.

I don’t think there’s any fixed going rate. Some people seem to do pay-per-meeting arrangements for 10,000 or 30,000 yen, while others receive 200,000 or 300,000 yen—or even more. There are probably people who receive nothing, too. And in mama-katsu, there are probably cases where the woman gives the man an allowance. So your own minimum is what matters. You’re the one dating that man—not anyone else. In my experience, the man is usually the one who brings up the allowance first. That said, I’ve heard of women being encouraged by a man to go take a shower without any allowance being mentioned, so they asked, “Um, what about the allowance?” I’ve also heard of cases where no amount was agreed on beforehand, and the man handed her 10,000 yen when they parted.