Adult relationships are too intense, and it’s painful.
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They’re so rough that I feel like all the life is being drained out of me.
Afterward, my body is completely wrecked.
Even men who say they prefer things low-key suddenly change.
I don’t think I could handle seeing multiple people.
I seem to keep ending up with men who get rough, so I’m scared to have an adult relationship (intimate).
Is it like this for everyone?
> He gets so intense that it feels like my life is burning out.
You may simply be especially sensitive.
I think you should firmly explain that you don’t like things to be so intense, and say something along the lines of:
“Just because I’m responding doesn’t mean you can’t be gentler. If you can’t, I don’t think I’ll be able to see you again.”
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Intimacy is something you do with all your passion.
All of my papas are like that, too.
Since this isn’t a job, there’s no need to see a large number of people.
If it seems too difficult for you, it’s probably best to stop—for your own sake.
Marika
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As I’ve also written in my column, I feel that it may be difficult to continue with a dating club unless you’re a woman who enjoys intimacy.
I’m not sure whether your papa is young and intense, or whether it only feels intense because you don’t have much experience.
The only solutions I can think of would be to end things with that papa and either:
- Wait for an older, more laid-back papa who takes things gently
- Live with a young boyfriend and get used to intimacy by doing it almost every day
Something along those lines, I suppose…
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Does “until their life burns out” refer to the other person—or to you?
Either way, if even reserved people suddenly transform, you must be overflowing with sexual appeal.
I often see profiles saying things like:
“I love sex ♥
I’m very forward about it ♥”
But if you wrote:
“For some reason, even reserved men suddenly transform ♥”
that would really strike a chord with men and make for a catchy profile! That’s a powerful weapon! You should change the way you go about things, lol. Quality over quantity!
I even imagined your promotional poster, lol.
There you are, glowing brightly atop the corpses of all the papas whose lives have burned out, standing there with a bashful expression, lol.
I’m not ready to die yet, but I’d love to spend some time with you once.＼(^o^)／
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You mean after the first round?
If it’s heading into a second time, you could say something like, “Honestly, I’m starting to feel sore down there (>_<).”
If he’s being too intense the first time, you could say beforehand, “I enjoy it more when you’re gentle with me♪”☆
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It’s not like everyone is that way…
Maybe you’re simply too irresistible.
Perhaps you have such amazing chemistry—or are so attractive—that even those who say, “I keep things pretty simple,” end up changing completely. They may be feeling so good that they lose their inhibitions.
That doesn’t happen with just anyone, so I think it says something about how special you are.
If things get too intense, it can hurt and become difficult, so why not ask them, “Please be gentle—it hurts when you get too rough”?
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If by “too intense,” you mean that you’re being hurt, then I think the problem lies with the man.
But if you’re having trouble because you want to see a lot of partners, I think you’d be better off going to a sex-work establishment.
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If you fantasize and get intensely aroused enough to climax over and over, wouldn’t your partner finish pretty quickly too? Why not give it a try…?
Or do you climax so much that you end up completely worn out?
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I don’t think that’s necessarily the case, but you seem to have a knack for making men suddenly change, so if that’s true, I suppose it can’t be helped. You may have no choice but to keep your activities limited to a small number of partners.
Please take care of yourself.
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