Tips Mar 15, 2022 02:33

I told her, “I’ll never be the one to break up with you, but if you find a boyfriend or someone you want to marry, or if you come to dislike me, you can end things—so don’t hesitate to tell me.” She responded with a scoffing attitude and simply said, “Thank you.”

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I meant to have a serious conversation, but I feel like she made fun of me. Should I cut my losses and let this woman go? She’s 25, and we’ve been seeing each other for seven months. I thought we were fairly close and trusted each other, so her reaction doesn’t sit right with me. I meant it as a gesture of goodwill, out of consideration for her since she’s at the age when many people start thinking about marriage. What do you think she was feeling?
👤 Asked by Guest 👨GenderMale 🎂 40s 👑 Universe male member
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9 answers

Fuu
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s 👨 Male Universe member
From the woman’s perspective, it’s only natural. The allowance is there for that very reason, and papa-katsu is appealing because it allows her to walk away when things get to that point. It probably wasn’t even something that needed to be said, but I imagine the woman was put off by the questioner’s condescending attitude—as if he had done her a favor by saying it and seriously thinking things through for her.
(3 replies left)
だて◎ゆめ
👨 Male Universe member
I think he judged it to be a polite social gesture rather than a genuine expression of interest. Since you’ve only been seeing each other for about six months, whether the relationship continues will depend on what happens from here. As things progress, she’ll gradually become less likely to walk away, so please keep what we discussed this time in mind as you continue seeing her.
(3 replies left)
Maybe she thought, “I really got him hooked! Go me!”—as in, “He actually started taking me seriously!” If you don’t want to see it that way, she may have simply wondered, “What is he talking about? I wouldn’t be the one to suggest breaking up.” I think it ultimately depends on how you choose to interpret it.
(3 replies left)
I’ve said something along those lines before—or rather, I bring it up once the relationship progresses—but I’ve never been treated that way. I’m not sure whether the girls I’m seeing are simply kind and wouldn’t treat me the way you were treated, or whether, as Aya-san suggested, they just don’t like you that much.
(3 replies left)
Quite simply, I think she just wasn’t that into you. When someone you don’t like says something cheesy, you may unfortunately end up snorting with laughter—that’s probably what happened. If you decide to cut things off, that’s just how it is.
(3 replies left)
ジョー・ルビコン
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入会して8年。いまだ彷徨中です
Age: 60s 👨 Male Universe member
Unfortunately, Joe also couldn’t help but scoff. Why? Because the way you phrased your question practically invited people to laugh at you, yet you got angry when someone actually did. In other words, saying things like “I would never be the one to break things off” wasn’t really about caring for the other person—it was just a way to protect yourself from getting hurt. I think they saw right through that.
(3 replies left)
You said something cheesy, so don’t complain when she gives you a disgusted look(笑) Those kinds of pretentious lines might work if you say them to a woman who’s already completely fallen for you, but saying them to someone sober and clear-headed just makes you look pathetic. I think that woman was simply being mature about it. Also, when it comes to the “marriageable age”—or the age when people start thinking, “I should probably get married soon”—I’d say that’s now in your thirties. Thinking that it’s 25 is already very Showa-era. People used to say women were like Christmas cakes—that they only “sold” until Christmas Eve, the 24th—but still… This is another reason I’m concerned about you, the person asking the question. Taro
(3 replies left)
I think she’s probably thinking, “Does this old guy, who’s 20 years older than me, really think I’d fall for him? That’s hilarious, lol.” A lot of people will naturally feel that way when there’s such a big age gap, so maybe it’s best not to get too serious.
(3 replies left)
紙ひこうき
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを!
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中! B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです! 会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private 👨 Male Universe member
If you break up with me over this, you’re a liar. To borrow my wife’s words: “Are you Russia?” Take responsibility for what you say. You’re being way too narrow-minded. Besides, you should be able to figure that out without even having to talk about it...
(3 replies left)