I’m getting fed up with how frequently this person contacts me so enthusiastically. It starts with a “good morning” early in the morning, followed by messages saying what he’s doing now, things he thought about, asking what I’m doing, what I think about this or that, and finally “good night.” I receive 5–10 messages a day. On top of that, each one is extremely long.
He contacts me nonstop, from early morning until late at night, without taking a break.
I reply promptly every time I receive a message, but it’s taking up a considerable amount of my time each day, and I’m struggling with it.
(I was also partly pressured into this because a staff member warned me, in a somewhat threatening tone, “Your rating will go down if you leave messages on read or ignore them without reading them.”)
With Letter Date, I can’t receive any support unless I actually meet the person. But if I invite him to meet, I get labeled as a woman who only cares about money, and if I respond coldly, my rating gets lowered. It feels like an endless trap.
For my own protection, would it be best to firmly decline, even if that means accepting that my rating will be lowered and I won’t receive any support?
I want my time back! I wish the staff would think a little more about things from the female members’ perspective.
If anyone has any good suggestions for how to handle this, I’d appreciate your advice.
P.S.
Am I misunderstanding the service?
Is Letter Date originally intended for people who have no intention of meeting the other person?
Is meeting not assumed from the outset?
Is it basically a fun service where male members can casually chat and exchange emails with young women for free?
What benefits are there for female members?
(Is the attitude basically, “You won’t get any offers anyway, so you should be grateful just to be able to exchange messages”?)
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
If you’re getting as many as 10 messages a day and can’t meet, complain to the club first.
You can safely ignore anyone that clueless.
If you’re going to meet, do it sooner rather than later. If you can’t meet, send the payment and keep things reasonable. That’s just common sense.
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I’m the person who came up with the idea of letter dates.
I wanted to meet her right away, but circumstances made that impossible. Still, I didn’t want to let this connection—which began through our profiles—go to waste. That’s how this arrangement came about.
After that, I offered letter dates to other women as well, and I was eventually able to meet all of them once our schedules aligned.
In my first message, I explained why I was suggesting a letter date and promised to keep our exchanges from becoming a burden. Of course, I also told them that I wanted to meet as soon as possible.
For a while after letter dates were introduced, the club sent the female members a small honorarium, but that has since stopped. I don’t know why, but some male members may not understand that it’s unpaid for the women.
If you determine from the messages that he lacks consideration, why not consult the club and then block him if necessary? In this case, I don’t think the person asking the question has anything to feel guilty about.
Even if you somehow received an allowance, agreeing to spend your time on an exchange like this wouldn’t solve anything.
Oh, and don’t judge whether to have a letter date based on how close or far apart you live.（笑）
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I think you should tell the staff, “It’s really hard to keep messaging a man endlessly when he has no intention of asking me out. Please help.”
I believe letter dating is supposed to be based on the expectation that you’ll eventually meet. You haven’t done anything wrong at all—you’re having a perfectly normal reaction.
I don’t sense any sign that this papa (a male supporter) is going to ask you out. It seems his goal isn’t to meet you, but simply to message you for free. He’s definitely a person to avoid, lol.
For him, it’s an ideal situation: he gets to chat with a woman without having to pay an allowance. For you, it’s the worst possible situation—you’re stuck endlessly messaging a person to avoid without receiving anything. If this is left unchecked, not only will you continue to suffer, but the increasing number of people to avoid will also lower the satisfaction of the female members, which isn’t good for the club either.
I think letter dating is a very effective tool for increasing the chances of members who live far apart actually arranging a date. But I really don’t understand why a man who lives close enough to meet right away would make an offer through letter dating. If the woman lives nearby, just meet her!
By the way, doesn’t that papa live near you? If so, that makes him even more likely to be a person to avoid. Block him immediately, lol.
Its Me!
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With letter dating, you’ll probably set the date for your first meeting after just a few exchanges that day.
If they’re unwilling to make plans, I think it’s fine to just ignore them.
The advantage is that you can meet sooner than with a regular setup, and, as in this case, it’s easy to spot self-centered people from their messages, so you can avoid wasting time meeting them.
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I’ve accepted letter dates a few times before.
The last one involved an incredibly long message, but in the end, there was no allowance for the letter date.
When I answered, some of the male respondents mentioned sending PayPay or Amazon gift cards. The other person had seen those answers too, and after we stopped messaging on LINE for a while, he sent me an Amazon gift card worth ¥100,000.
Now I’m thinking I would’ve preferred PayPay. I was being greedy—sorry.
Why not message him on LINE and ask, “When are we going to meet?” If you don’t actually want to meet, try saying, “Then could you send me PayPay instead?”
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Please contact the staff member who warned you. It sounds like there may have been some misunderstanding.
Based on what I’ve heard from female members, I don’t think your rating would drop simply because you left someone on read or didn’t open their message.
The benefit for female members is that offers—and therefore opportunities to meet people—increase.
From what I’ve heard about how Letter Date originally came about, it doesn’t seem to be a service intended for meeting someone immediately.
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