We've been seeing each other for about three months, but lately I've been running out of things to talk about.
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I come to our dates with all kinds of topics prepared, but the increasing amount of silence is getting awkward, haha.
We get along well, though.
For those of you who've been doing this for over a year, how do you keep things going?
I’m Meg, one of the female members.
Hmm, I see.
I want to share a part of my life with him—ideally, as much of it as possible.
What matters most is that my papa stays healthy and in a good mood every day. I’d be happy if opening one of my emails made him feel relieved or brought a little smile to his face.
Since that’s how we spend the time we can’t be together, when we do meet, there’s no time for talking.
I do make some sounds, though.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
I feel like you’re fundamentally missing the point here, but are you really supposed to prepare for a conversation?
A book that’s perfect for someone asking that question was just released: *Meeting and Talking*, by Tanaka ○Nobu. It’s probably better than reading some mediocre conversation-skills book.
Actually, I’d recommend it to everyone, so give it a read when you have some free time.
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I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a columnist.
I’ve never had trouble coming up with things to talk about, so I wrote down the kinds of topics I usually bring up.
We meet once, and probably spend about an hour and a half talking…? I’m sure most of you spend the rest of the time doing what you came to do, haha.
It’s nice to have enough material to naturally talk about a different topic every time.
・Fashion
Fashion trends change every month, so being able to talk about what’s trending is a real advantage. On Twitter, following fashion.com will help you keep up with the latest trends.
・Things that grow or make progress
Progress reports are the easiest source of conversation. You can talk about your pets, interior design—looking at it from the perspective of developing your room—or plants. Side jobs and businesses can work too, as long as you focus on points that interest the other person. Business results and behind-the-scenes struggles are boring, so leave those out.
・TikTok and YouTube
TikTok trends come and go quickly, and the latest trends show up in your recommendations, so it’s useful for finding out what’s popular right now.
On YouTube, following gossip and exposé creators makes it easier to have conversations that resonate with younger people. Korekore is a good one to start with.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
I think I’m better suited to something easygoing, where you don’t have to worry about that kind of thing.
I don’t think compatibility changes.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
How do you come up with conversation topics before going on a date?
To keep the conversation going, I save information about my partner in my phone’s notes after each date—things like their hobbies, interests, favorite foods, and what we talked about.
Before the next date, I look online to see if there have been any new developments related to their hobbies or interests, then I go in prepared.
Even so, there are still moments of silence.
If you’re close and the other person doesn’t seem bothered by the quiet, I don’t think you need to force yourself to talk.
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I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
Like Seattle, I tailor things to my partner’s hobbies.
Even after we go our separate ways, the hobbies remain, so I’ve picked up more of them since joining the club.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I only date people who seem like they’d be easy to talk to. Even without giving it much thought, we never run out of things to talk about.
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I’m in Seattle.
Are you a man or a woman?
I’ll answer assuming you’re a male member. It can be tough when one person is passive and doesn’t talk. Everyone I’ve continued seeing is pretty chatty—and I talk a lot too.
Even if you’re not interested, try getting into the other person’s hobbies. It’ll greatly expand the range of things you can talk about. Something simple, like watching videos you both enjoy, works too, but hobbies are best.
Also, is it really proper etiquette not to look at your phone during a meal? In my case, I don’t go to particularly formal restaurants, so the woman and I look at our phones together all the time. If you both look at news or other things on your phones, you’ll never run out of things to talk about.
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