Tips
Sep 25, 2021 00:15
10 answers
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Fuu, a columnist.
If I decide I’d like to continue seeing someone, we exchange LINE contacts. Since people usually use their real names on LINE, we end up knowing each other’s real first names.
Unless the woman tells me her surname, I don’t ask for it. I do tell her mine, though—it’s a hassle to make restaurant reservations under a club name when meeting up, haha.
That’s about as far as we go with specific personal information. We might mention roughly what area we live in and what kind of work we do, but we don’t share our home addresses or company names.
A～Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月１程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Dai, a male member.
Some women use aliases, while others use their real names. However, when someone refuses to tell me her real name for an extended period, I can’t help but feel wary.
As for me, I tell them my real name, but I’m vague about my job.
I usually communicate via LINE, though some women use SMS.
Still, I get the impression that arrangements with women who use SMS tend not to last as long.
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Since you don’t know what kind of men are out there, I think it’s best to use your club name at first. As you get a better sense of the other person’s situation, you’ll gradually learn more about them.
That’s about it. In any case, please be careful and avoid getting into disputes.
These days, both the women and I know each other’s real identities, but ever since we started seeing each other, we’ve continued using our club names and email addresses.
The reason is that we both understand and agree that this is strictly a relationship within the framework of a dating club where an allowance is involved.
Other
Since my LINE account uses my real first name, I exchange LINE contacts when I feel the arrangement is likely to continue for a while. If I don’t think there will be a next time, I ask them to text the number they first called instead.
About a third of the people I meet for the first time suddenly hand me their business card. I usually give my real name, but I adjust depending on the other person’s approach.
Once we become reasonably close, conversations about meeting places or them picking me up often lead to me learning roughly where they work. I also talk about what I do for work fairly early on.
Once, someone searched my real name, found my workplace, and stalked me, so it’s important not to trust people too much.
Marika
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
I think using an alias should be fine. I’ve never asked anyone for her name or where she lives, and I’ve never told anyone my real name either.
I’d prefer to keep using an alias if possible, but…
Since my LINE account uses my real name, people can figure out who I am.
When we exchanged LINE contacts, most of the women also told me their real names. I think it’s best to follow the man’s lead. Unless you know that the man’s identity and real name are genuine, I don’t think you should give him your real name.
With the women I’ve gotten close to, things have naturally progressed to the point where we know each other’s homes and addresses.
As for people who use something other than LINE, I hardly ever use those apps myself, so I sometimes don’t even realize I’ve received a message. I haven’t continued seeing anyone through them yet.
Meg
Female
Send a reverse offer to this responder
🏅 修行の身
光と影
Age: 50s
👩 Female
Former Universe member
I’m Meg, a female member.
We’ve been seeing each other for almost two years now. At first, he called me by my club name, but now he calls me by my nickname. Since I use my real name on LINE, we communicate by email instead.
I’ve been completely honest about the number of children I have and my occupation.
Sometimes I feel bad that he’s told me his real name and other personal details, while I can’t share the same in return.
So, at the very least, I talk openly about my work, children, and everyday life to help him feel comfortable and reassured.
🏅 ４０歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現ＡＩ界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Even people we trust can betray us over small cracks in the relationship or conflicting interests.
If you can maintain the delicate balance between human trustworthiness and aligned interests through the magnetic pull of effort and patience, then being completely open is no problem.
But if you’re not confident you can maintain that balance, it’s best not to trust the people you meet here at first. Going in with that assumption will help you avoid getting hurt.
If you meet someone as genuinely good as a person who helps you unwind, you’ll naturally relax around them.
If, after six months of membership, you find yourself thinking, “There’s no one like that here!”—sorry.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I use an alias, but it seems some people—both men and women—want to know each other’s real names. Either way, if the relationship deepens to the point where you travel together, there will eventually be a chance to learn each other’s real names.
LINE is usually the main way to stay in touch. Occasionally, some women prefer text messages.
How much personal information someone is willing to share varies from woman to woman. I try not to ask until she brings it up herself.
🏅 大阪の昼寝引きこもりトレーダー
スペ90以下のひとを厚く囲い込み、一生面倒見て実質一夫多妻で大切にしたい独身です。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m in Seattle.
A lot of people seem to use aliases, so once I get to know someone, I call them by their real first name.
LINE is the standard, but some people who can’t use it seem to communicate by email or KakaoTalk.
I share pretty much all my personal information, but I think it’s fine to share as much—or as little—as you’re comfortable with.
Other
I’m Aya, a female member.
At first, I use my club name, but we exchange LINE contacts on the first day. Once we’ve gotten fairly close—close enough to stay overnight—I tell them my real name and the details of my work.
I do this because I feel that opening up first helps the other person trust me too.
It may just be a coincidence, but all the papas who’ve stayed with me long-term were people who told me their real names, occupations, and so on from the very first day without lying. It made me really happy that they trusted me from the start, even though I was just a papa-katsu girl to them.