For married male members: If your wife sued your dating partner and demanded compensation, would you pay it?
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I know it’s a bit rich coming from me, since I’m currently doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but I grew up in a wealthy family, and my father had a mistress. My mother spent ¥4–5 million on private investigators over several years to gather evidence of my father’s affair. She took him to court and demanded around ¥3 million in compensation from his affair partner, but my father paid the entire amount. That only added fuel to my mother’s anger, and at the time, I also genuinely thought my father and his mistress were absolute scum. But after growing up and finding myself in the mistress’s position, I can’t help thinking, of course she’d have papa (a male supporter) pay it.
In the end, my father chose his mistress. For the married male members on this Q&A site, if your wife sued your dating partner and demanded compensation, would you pay it on her behalf? Or would you choose your wife and refuse to pay?
I’m not asking you to say something like, “I wouldn’t be stupid enough to get caught.” A wife with enough financial resources will use all her money and connections to thoroughly gather evidence.
I’m Papihikōki, a male member.
Either way, I’d pay. For a wife, I’d pay even more than ten times that amount. Actually, I might even consider paying around a hundred times more…
For now, though, choosing a woman from the club isn’t an option. Even if I were to divorce my wife…
There are women waiting for cancellations, after all…
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A friend of mine wasn’t involved through a dating club, but the wife of the man she was seeing demanded compensation, and my friend paid 3 million yen. Apparently, the man later gave her the money. In the end, though, it seems they broke things off.
Another friend hired a private investigator to identify her husband’s affair partner and demanded compensation. Her husband was an executive at a major corporation, but aside from his salary, he had no income his wife didn’t know about. So his money coming in and going out was closely tracked, and it seems he didn’t make up the payment to the woman.
The affair partner was young and had limited income, so she reportedly begged to be allowed to pay in installments, and my friend agreed.
So I think it largely depends on the other person’s source of income and whether they have savings or other assets their wife doesn’t know about.
Marika
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here, and I’ll answer this as well.
> If the wife sued the woman he was seeing and claimed compensation, would you pay?
Originally, the wife can also claim compensation from her husband. Under the Civil Code, she can seek it from either of them.
So why claim compensation from the other woman? Because even if the husband’s money is simply transferred to her, it offers no real benefit to the household.
With that in mind, normally, I don’t think she would pay.
That said, if the woman genuinely believed the man was single, and she had properly confirmed it with him but he told her that he was unmarried, then even if the wife sued her for compensation, the court might not rule that she has to pay.
If there’s no judgment ordering her to pay, she has no obligation to do so.
Thinking about it that way, I find myself thinking it would be better to date someone who says he’s single.
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I’m a columnist and a bit of a flag-raiser.
So answers like “you won’t get caught” or “it’ll never get that far” aren’t allowed, huh? lol
I wouldn’t even need time to think—I’d choose my family as it is now. I’ve been with my wife for over 15 years, nearly 20 if you count the time we dated, so there’s absolutely no way I’d choose a mistress I’d just met and fallen for.
Sorry. I lied. Sometimes I do waver.
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I’m a losing male member.
I’m sorry I can’t give a realistic answer, but I think I’d probably do one of the following:
1. End things with the woman I’m dating after paying her a settlement, plus an additional breakup payment equal to the settlement.
2. Divorce my wife as well, but not continue seeing the other woman.
That’s what I would do.
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