I’m a female member.

I’m Fuu, a columnist. Please feel out the situation carefully before taking action, especially since you’ve already been seeing each other for a year. I think a papa (a male supporter) would be happy to receive suggestions from you. If he’s married or has a girlfriend, he’ll probably spend his birthday or Christmas with her. So rather than suggesting a celebration on the exact date, it may be better to propose celebrating on another day within that month. As for traveling, first check whether an overnight trip is actually possible for him given his marriage or work, and discuss how you’ll handle the allowance. After making the suggestion, watch his reaction carefully. If he seems reluctant or uncomfortable, withdraw the suggestion right away. Be careful with presents, too. I once had a painful experience where my papa (a male supporter) lived with his family, took home a Christmas present, and his family found out, so we ended things. At first, try giving him something he can eat on the spot and see how he reacts. Gradually find out whether gifts that leave a physical trace would be okay. You sound like a lovely, considerate girl, and I really like that you want to celebrate special occasions with your papa (a male supporter) and go on trips because you care about him. I hope it all goes well and that you become even closer with your papa (a male supporter).

I’m Osaka, a male member. I get the impression that you’re very considerate and tend to adapt to the other person. That may be why things have lasted for over a year, so bringing up this kind of request could be a bit of a gamble. It does seem strange that he hasn’t brought it up himself. That makes me think there may be an unspoken rule between you not to clearly step into that territory, which is probably why the way you’ve interacted so far has worked so well. But if you’re hoping for a relationship where you can celebrate birthdays and anniversaries together, I think it may be worth taking the chance. That’s a perfectly normal feeling. He may simply be the same type as you and has been holding back out of consideration. And if bringing it up damages the relationship, you can always treat it as a transactional relationship and move on to the next person.

I’m a loser male member who ended things with girls on pay-per-meeting arrangements of 170,000 and 130,000 yen, one right after the other this week. My monthly budget just freed up about 600,000 yen. I was going to let this one go, but a no-look pass came flying in from nearby, so I’ll force myself to answer. In my case, I’ve decided to spend my birthday and Christmas with my ace girl, so I spend a lot of time brainwashing the other girls I’m keeping into accepting that I can’t see them on those days. If you’re that papa’s ace, he would have suggested traveling together, seeing each other on your birthday, or at least around your birthday by now. So unfortunately, I think you’re not the ace for either of those two papas, but rather their second-in-command. ■ Summary of the differences between an ace and a second-in-command Ace: You don’t directly ask to see her on her birthday, but you show that you want to see her and wait with bated breath for her to say, “I’m free.” The same goes for Christmas Eve. Your own birthday is already promised to your ace girl, and you’ve arranged to have her celebrate with you that night. Second-in-command: You never intended to see her on her birthday in the first place, but you celebrate on a day around it instead. The same goes for Christmas Eve. You say something like, “You probably have someone more important than me, so go see him.” When it comes to your own birthday, you make up excuses like being away on a long business trip. In short, you never see or invite anyone below your second-in-command on anniversaries or other special occasions.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. Here’s a little tip: when your birthday is coming up, try asking, “When’s your birthday, papa?” If he engages enthusiastically, you’ll both learn each other’s birthdays—and you might even get a present（笑）. If he doesn’t go along with it, drop the subject and change the topic（笑）.

I’m Dai, a male member. I don’t find it particularly off-putting. However, it seems many women assume that the allowance should naturally increase if we travel together or spend the night, so I’ve lost interest in those arrangements. As for gifts, it depends on what they ask for.

I’m Aya, a female member. I think it’s best to give presents by tying them to special occasions or events. Also, saying that you’d like to go on a trip together is a great idea. With papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), you can remain anonymous, so the relationship can easily stay superficial. But depending on your compatibility, it’s possible to build a deeper connection too, so give it a try.

Masayoshi Maezawa from the CEO’s office will answer this as well. > Would you take it negatively if someone you’ve been seeing for a long time suddenly started giving you presents or saying things like, “I’d like to go on a trip together sometime”? I don’t think so. Receiving a present for a special occasion is always nice. It’s not the gift itself that makes me happy—it’s the thought behind it.