Lately, because of the state of emergency and COVID-19 prevention measures, we’ve mostly just been eating at a nearby family restaurant. It’s not like we’re meeting at the last possible minute—it’s around 5 p.m., leaving three whole hours until 8. But when we meet during the day, it doesn’t matter.
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We used to eat at hotels.
Doesn’t this mean I’ve been moved down the priority list? Right……
If I’m going to get dumped, I’d rather be the one to end things first.
Would it be strange to end things over something like this?
I’m Dai, a male member.
I think what’s bothering you is that you feel you’re not being treated as someone special.
Using the state of emergency as an excuse for going to a family restaurant doesn’t really hold up. I suspect he probably wanted to switch to family restaurants eventually anyway.
From a man’s perspective, though, I don’t think this necessarily says anything about where you stand in his priorities.
Just because a man is wealthy doesn’t mean he always goes to upscale restaurants.
If he’s started taking you to places he normally goes to, he may feel that your relationship has reached a point where you no longer need to be especially considerate around him.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
In areas under a state of emergency or pre-emergency measures, I think family restaurants are understandable. I’m in Tokyo too, and since we can’t have the beer my papa likes, we’ve ended up thinking, “Anywhere is fine,” and mostly go to family restaurants or casual places. But as long as the food is good, I’m perfectly happy, and my papa and I enjoy discovering all kinds of places together. Sometimes we even buy food at a convenience store and hole up in a luxury hotel. Once we get tired of room service, convenience-store food tastes surprisingly good.
In any case, it might be a good idea to subtly let your papa know that women are less likely to get bored when there’s plenty of variety.
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I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
Do you usually drink alcohol?
At the moment, restaurants aren’t allowed to serve alcohol, so many hotel restaurants are closed, and more regular restaurants are shutting down as well. That makes it difficult even to find a place to eat normally.
On top of that, fewer places are opening early, around 5 p.m.
Until alcohol service resumes, why not treat this as a temporary, unconventional dining period and enjoy it differently from usual, rather than trying to find a proper restaurant?
For example, convenience stores have a wide variety of prepared foods, so you could buy different things and heat them up at the hotel to try them out. Some hotels even have karaoke rooms. Drive-throughs are also an option.
It could be fun to look for delicious takeout restaurants or desserts, too.
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I’m in Seattle.
Personally, I prefer family restaurants or conveyor-belt sushi. That said, I do choose a hotel for the first meeting.
Why not judge based on the amount of cash you receive?
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I’m a total loser of a male member.
My ace girl hates expensive places, so since I know that, I only take her somewhere really cheap. I only go to inexpensive restaurants too, so we’re a perfect match.
I’ve never even been to a sushi place where the sushi doesn’t come around on a conveyor belt.
Even when I give her convenience-store rice balls and sandwiches, she smiles from ear to ear and says, “So good!” Seeing that makes me so happy I practically pass out every time.
On our adult relationship days, she doesn’t like expensive hotels either, so we reluctantly go with APA Hotel. But she still giggles and seems to have a great time every time.
When she acts this adorable every time, of course I end up increasing her allowance.
I think she’s a genius at getting money out of me.
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I’m Ayase Nana ♡
I go on dates at Muten Kura Sushi ♥️
The food is delicious, and spending time with him is a reward in itself for me♡
Dinner at a hotel with a night view is nice too, but I’m not particular about that.
If you don’t like it, why not look for someone else next time?
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t think it’s strange.
However, rather than cutting things off right away, explain your thoughts to her and make sure she understands. Bringing things to an end without even trying to negotiate seems a little hasty.
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here.
I don’t think it’s really about priorities. The man is probably thinking:
“Hmm, she doesn’t complain even if we go to a family restaurant. Since the allowance is the same whether we’re intimate or not, I guess it’s fine. In that case, I’ll keep costs down and just be intimate with her.”
So I think you should clearly tell him something like:
“I don’t like going to family restaurants. I’d like to have meals at a hotel like we used to. I’m not looking for a relationship that’s only about intimacy.”
If that leads to a breakup, then I think that’s fine—he was probably considering ending things anyway. You may not like the idea of being the one who gets dumped, but in this case, you simply couldn’t reach an agreement and the relationship ended by mutual disagreement. I don’t think it’s the same as being dumped.
Also, I don’t think you should worry too much about who ended things.
If he improves, you can continue seeing him. But if he still takes you to family restaurants, I think it’s perfectly fine to block him and end things. He’ll probably understand why he was blocked.
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I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a column writer.
If your allowance hasn’t been reduced, I don’t really see the problem. If it hurts your pride that he’s trying to cut expenses, then why not just end things?
You need to sort out your own feelings and figure out what matters more to you: the money or your pride.
It’s true that your priority has gone down, but there are two possibilities: either you’ve become lower priority compared with other women, or papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) itself has become less of a priority in his life.
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