In my 50s, and a self-proclaimed handsome older guy.
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I don’t usually say this about myself, but I think women find me attractive.
In fact, whether they’re C-type or B-type women, I’ve been able to take things as far as an intimate relationship with every woman I’ve met so far.
I don’t even offer that much allowance, but I’ve never been turned down.
If anything, the women have been the ones to accept me.
However, I have a bad habit.
Until I become intimate with a woman, I can’t tell whether I’ll want to continue seeing her afterward.
I have this mindset that “I can’t know until I see her body” and “I can’t know until we try it.”
With Universe, I can judge a woman’s appearance to some extent from her profile, so as long as there are no issues with her personality, I become intimate with almost every woman.
But after being intimate once or twice, I find that I no longer want to see about half of them.
It’s because of their bodies or our sexual compatibility.
I don’t dislike any of these women personally, and I can tell that they like me, so I feel extremely guilty.
In this kind of situation, what would be the best way to turn them down?
Should I clearly tell them that I don’t want to see them anymore?
If I block them on LINE, will they understand the message?
Is this kind of thing common and unavoidable at dating clubs?
Should I be more selective about the women I see?
I would appreciate your advice.
Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here as well.
> In a situation like this, what would be the best way to turn her down?
I think you should do what Makeo and Mac suggested.
You’ll know whether you’re compatible once you’ve become intimate, so it should be clear right then and there.
If you gave her the allowance upfront, you could say afterward, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think we were compatible,” and give her some additional allowance.
If giving her around ¥200,000 still leaves you feeling guilty, then I think you should give her more.
The more you give her, the less guilty you’ll feel.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
This actually happened to me when I was younger, haha.
These days, I’m careful about making offers. After going through various experiences, I’ve decided to keep seeing someone through the dating club until she turns me down.
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I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
Oh, am I the only one who feels a little jealous?
You move into an adult relationship (intimate) with every woman, they’re the ones who willingly accept it, and you can tell they genuinely like you. On top of that, the allowance is average.
…Does that seriously happen? Well, I guess it does. No, it probably doesn’t. Are you lying?
Wait, maybe it really does（笑）
No, surely you’re lying about at least some part of it（笑）
Either way, I’m incredibly jealous. You’re playing life on easy mode and breezing through it. In that case, though—ordinary people struggle just to get into a relationship, so at least wrestle with the way out a little and make the decision yourself instead of relying on this site.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
It’s not particularly unusual for an adult relationship (intimate) to end after just one time.
Compatibility matters, after all, so I don’t think you need to force yourself to continue seeing someone and feel guilty about it.
Keep dating in whatever way works for you.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
I think men and women basically feel the same way. It’s not a bad habit at all. Maybe that kindness is what makes you appealing? You can’t know if you’re compatible without getting intimate, and physical compatibility plays a major role in deciding whether to continue, so I think most people get intimate first and then make their decision.
Until I found my ongoing monthly partners, I also made my overall judgment after getting intimate with an average of 10 people. Of course, there have been times when the woman ended things with me too.
Blocking someone is generally fine, but please don’t suddenly cancel a date you’ve already agreed to—it puts a burden on the other person. I think it’s best not to make another date, let things naturally fade out, and then block them on LINE.
A handsome older guy—lucky you.
As I’ve written in my columns, 85% of my arrangements involve an adult relationship (intimate). Having it be 100% is amazing.
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I think pretty much the same way you do.
“You can’t know until you see their body.”
“You can’t know until you try.”
I think that’s perfectly reasonable.
You could block them, or if you told them, “The physical chemistry wasn’t quite right,” they’d understand the reason—and personally, I’d feel better knowing.
I’ve had similar experiences in reverse, too, but I could never say that to a man. Things like size and firmness can hurt a man’s pride.
With women, there aren’t really such clear-cut standards, so I think it’s fine to simply say that you weren’t compatible.
Marika
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Given that money is involved, it’s only natural that they’d be interested in you. I don’t think many girls want to continue seeing someone after just two or three meetings.
You don’t have to block them—if you’re busy or your schedules don’t work, you can simply stop meeting.
Also, even if you meet again after a year, it can feel a little fresh and exciting.
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I’m Ayase Nana ♡
I think you can simply block and delete them without worrying about it. Women will get the message.
Please don’t take it so hard. Just as there are many women, there are also many men. I’m sure she’ll move on and look for someone else. You must have a very kind heart.
It’s true that you can’t know until you’ve been intimate. An adult relationship (intimate) can reveal sides of someone that were hidden, so I think it’s worth considering. There’s also the matter of intimate compatibility. As several other respondents have said, aren’t you choosing people based only on their age and appearance?
Try looking for someone who is usually a refined lady but sexy in private. I’m sure you’ll find someone wonderful.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Blocking her is perfectly fine. Women tend to give up quickly when they feel like they’re not hearing back or their messages are being left unread. My papa (a male supporter) occasionally gets messages from women he made offers to a long time ago, saying things like, “I’ve been feeling lonely lately…” He either ignores them or replies vaguely with something like, “That sounds tough.” They seem to give up after that. Besides, I’m thinking, “What am I supposed to do about you feeling lonely? That’s not my problem lol.”
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think this is normal and unavoidable in a dating club, but if you feel guilty about it, I’d suggest being more selective about the women you make offers to.
If a woman asks to set up another date, you can give her a vague response so she gets the hint. Usually, after you dodge the question once or three times, she’ll stop contacting you.
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I’m a male member—and a total loser.
Wouldn’t it be better to raise the allowance to 100,000 yen or more?
I was thinking that maybe you feel guilty because the allowance is too low.
But then again… if you’re a handsome older guy offering 100,000 yen or more, you’d become an ideal supporter, so maybe the woman who gets cut off would actually take an even bigger hit…
When I feel a woman and I are nearing the end, I often give her the adult allowance on our way home from an adult date and say:
“This is for next time.”
It’s basically severance pay.
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