The man I’m currently seeing seems to think he’s quite large, so he brought large-sized condoms and we had sex. However, they kept slipping off during the act, and he would put the condom back on… This happened several times, and I feel extremely uncomfortable and anxious knowing there was even brief skin-to-skin contact. (I also told him I didn’t want him to put a condom back on after it had come off, and asked him to use a new one.)
I don’t think he means any harm, so is there a way to ask him to use regular-sized condoms without hurting his feelings…? We’re scheduled to meet for the second time soon, and I’m thinking of bringing my own, but I’m not sure what to say and I’m at a loss.
I would greatly appreciate any advice.
Thank you.
I’m Dako, a female member.
Why not bring your own and say, “I’m allergic to latex, so I’d like you to use the one I brought”?
If you explain that using anything else causes itching or irritation, they should be willing to accommodate you.
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I’ll answer as Maezawa from the president’s office as well.
> Is there a way to ask him to use a regular-sized one without hurting his feelings…?
I don’t think you need to worry about being that considerate.
If you only hint at it gently, he probably won’t notice—and there’s even a chance he’s doing it on purpose.
Many women don’t notice when it comes off during the act, so he may be putting it on in a way that makes it come off inside.
So just tell him directly:
“It seems to come off because it isn’t the right size.”
Then put on a regular-sized one for him right there.
Love hotels usually have them available. If you’re staying at a regular hotel, it might be best to buy one in advance and bring it with you.
Some strange men are put off if a woman carries them, but I think it’s necessary for protecting yourself.
You could even say, “I read about it in an advice column, so I started carrying them,” as an excuse and take one out.
In the first place, the man is at fault for not bringing the right ones himself. So the men who say they’re put off are the ones being unreasonable.
They should make sure to prepare the proper ones before worrying about being put off.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
For now, it’s probably best to discreetly have one prepared.
If it comes off during the middle of things, try asking directly, “Could you switch to this one?”
Mentioning STIs might make him uncomfortable, so you could say that reusing it also carries a risk of pregnancy.
It’s well known that pre-ejaculate can contain sperm.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Haha!
That’s a great question.
I love questions like this! lol
I think you should say, “This time, I’ll put it on for you,” and put it on him yourself.
Then, why not make sure it’s a “perfect fit”?
You could say, “I wonder which one will fit Papa perfectly,” and give it a try.
Just make sure you don’t say, “Oh my, it’s actually small, isn’t it?” lol
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
Thanks for your hard work. It’s really thoughtful of you to want to avoid hurting your papa’s feelings.
Why not have the questioner prepare a condom and say, “I like the way this one feels,” then hand it to him? He may be willing to use it.
After the adult relationship (intimate), you could say, “Actually, this one feels really good in this size. Please use this kind from now on.” How does that sound?
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Since a condom slipping off can lead to concerns about pregnancy, why not ask him to use a different brand? If you plan to bring your own, you could simply say that as you hand it over.
Apparently, when contraception fails despite using a condom, the usual causes are that it slips off or breaks.
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I’m Shingo Lee, a column writer.
How about casually mentioning, “Apparently, even a medium-sized condom can fit over a person’s arm,” to reassure him and help him understand that condom size isn’t directly related to penis size? In fact, even a standard-size condom can stretch quite a lot.
Alternatively, you could try asking sweetly, “I like it when a condom makes your penis feel tight and firm, so I know it might be uncomfortable, but I’d like you to bear with it.”
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