I have a papa (a male supporter) who asks for an adult relationship (intimate) every time we meet. Since I find it exhausting to have an adult relationship every time, I told him I’d prefer it to be once every two or three meetings at most.
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He then said, “In that case, let’s meet once a month and do it that one time.”
It makes me feel like he’s only interested in my body, and honestly, I don’t like it. Even if we meet just once a month, the thought of having an adult relationship every time makes me feel a little depressed.
Is it wrong to feel this way?
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
No matter how high-and-mighty the men registered with these clubs may act, when it comes down to it, all they’re really thinking about is getting intimate（笑）.
If you take another moment to think about what you’re looking for in club activities, I think the answer will naturally become clear. If you absolutely need the allowance, then even if meeting him feels depressing, it may be better to keep seeing him. But if you’d rather enjoy your time together than focus on the allowance, you should eliminate anything that makes you feel that way.
Everyone sees things differently—there’s no right or wrong.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I enjoy going on regular dates with my papa (a male supporter), so I usually opt for a monthly arrangement. That naturally means we’ll go on dates that aren’t focused solely on an adult relationship (intimate), but there’s also the risk that, because we meet more often, the allowance may start to feel low per meeting.
So I think the best approach depends on how positive you feel about spending time with your papa and how much you like him. That said, judging from the way you phrased your question, you don’t seem all that enthusiastic, so perhaps your only option is to put up with meeting once a month.
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I’m Maezawa from the Executive Office, and I’ll answer as well.
Some men don’t like giving an allowance for dinner only.
If you’d like to go on dinner dates too, he may be the type who doesn’t want to give an allowance for dinner only. So, if you’re okay with him simply paying for the meal, why not tell him that?
You could say something like:
“Having an adult relationship every time we meet makes me feel as though you’re only interested in my body. I don’t need an allowance on dinner-only days, so would you be willing to alternate between dinner dates and intimate dates?”
That said, some people are only interested in intimacy. If that bothers you, I think it would be better to end things with him.
If your stance and his don’t match, there’s not much you can do.
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Some women would never dream of spending the same amount of time with a papa they don’t even like for a low allowance, let alone walking around somewhere they might be seen. So there may be men who find girls saying, “I’d love to enjoy regular dates too♡” cute.
That said, I think most people are mainly looking for an adult relationship (intimate). I prefer the latter too.
Marika
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I’m Nana Ayase, going through a bit of a man drought ☆
I’m starting to feel lonely and want someone to pamper me.
I wonder what type the questioner is? If you’re a Type C, would that be considered misrepresenting your type?
Wasn’t Type B more like, “It depends on whether we click”?
Maybe a Type B leaning toward A?
I hope the men haven’t left any feedback about me.
What about sharing hobbies with your papa? Once you get close, you might go golfing, fishing, or to hot springs together… I wonder.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
I joined and participate in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with the goal of dating ordinary young women—not women from the sex industry—and having an intimate relationship. The adult relationship (intimate) aspect is important to me. People pay money for things that satisfy them. In my case, I can’t be satisfied with a relationship without intimacy, so I’m not willing to pay an allowance for one.
There are also papas who give an allowance for dinner only (no intimacy). If you really don’t want that, I think you’ll have to part ways with that papa and look for someone who understands you. Why not select Type B for your relationship preference and communicate how you feel when you receive an offer?
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I’m Meg, a female member.
Maybe I’m just not a good match with my papa?
Since we don’t meet very often, I’m definitely the type to ask for what I want! LOL
Honestly, even two or three hours doesn’t feel like enough…
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I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
A relationship involving an allowance is simply where both people’s wants meet, so there’s no such thing as good or bad.
It just happened to turn out that way with that particular man.
With someone else, it might not.
I have limited availability for dates, so I’m the type who wants to be intimate when we meet.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I think that kind of arrangement is perfectly fine, too. As you gradually grow closer to a man, it may naturally turn into a different kind of adult relationship (intimate) each time—and that’s fine as well.
Just do what feels right for you. I’m sure you’ll find someone you’re compatible with.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Whenever I see questions like this, I wonder whether she’s asking for the same allowance as she would receive for an adult relationship, even without having one.
If she is asking for the same amount, I doubt many men would agree to those terms. I would probably give the same answer as that man.
However, if she’s okay with having days that are date-only, even with a smaller allowance than for an adult relationship, then at least I think similarly to the person asking the question.
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I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
Unless she’s closer to a C type, I think that’s perfectly normal for a B type woman. It has to be that way for men too; otherwise, it would be no different from a C type arrangement.
For men who want to enjoy spending time with a B type woman, going out, taking drives, finding Instagram-worthy spots, and simply enjoying fun dates are just as important as they are to women.
Many B type women—and C type women as well—seem to have had experiences similar to yours. They’re often happy and say, “Until now, every time I met someone, they always wanted an adult relationship.” Perhaps because of that, the frequency with which they meet tends to increase quite a bit.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think that’s a valid perspective, so you should date someone whose views align with yours.
That said, you may want to consider how much of an allowance you’d expect for dates without an adult relationship (intimacy), and how much enjoyment you can actually provide a man on that kind of date.
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